Author: RedeemedInGrace

The Autism Label

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I guess I already knew. Jason and I had been using this term to describe our son for quite sometime: autistic. Something about seeing it the other day in black and white confirmed by the education specialists just felt like a punch in the gut. My son’s autism was now “official” for all educational purposes.

The diagnosis we were given when he was a baby was “developmental delay” and “hypotonia” (which just means he has low muscle tone). I already accepted this. My little guy has always had to work a little harder and longer to accomplish a milestone task. He didn’t start walking until he was 23 months for goodness sake.

The last week or so has been compiled of meetings/interviews/observations with what I like to call his “team”, to go over his Individualized Education Plan (IEP). I am so thankful for these women who have made it their professional calling to help kids like him. His team includes his speech therapist, occupational therapist, physical therapist, specialized Pre-K teacher, and Special Education coordinator from the public school system. The supplemental helpers are his teacher aides (who are fantastic), the Autism teacher, his peers, and basically any other teacher or staff member at the school that he has befriended. He knows more people in the school than I do which I find hilarious and comforting. They all know him and love him and can see what I see in him.

At the same time, recognizing that the label of Autism is now forever attached to my son is hard to process. It explains why he acts the way he does, but Jesse is a lot more than a stereotype too. As I went over the confirmed results with his team I wanted to cry because I could no longer put a veil over the obvious, admitting my son has a disability. There is grief for the parent of a special needs child because I want so much in life for my son just like every other parent. I want him to speak in sentences, to hear ‘I love you, mom’, to understand why we celebrate Christmas and get crazy excited about it like other kids, to pretend to be a fireman or superhero running around the house saving the day!

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And yet there was relief in finally coming to terms with his autism. For so long I have wrestled with feeling like a failure as a mom because he hasn’t been able to keep up with his peers in skill level. I thought part of it was something I wasn’t doing right. It isn’t my fault and it isn’t his either. My son has autism. The consolation of having an explanation for his delays, quirks, and irrational fears and the sadness of the reality is an odd emotion to work through.

When the Special Education coordinator looked at me and actually told me I wasn’t a failure I wanted to throw my arms around this almost stranger and give her a huge bear hug. Did she know I needed to hear that? She must have, it’s her job. I’m sure she has seen that look in parents’ eyes before when something really hard to accept becomes concrete. This is my life and I mostly try to focus on the good rather than dwell in self-pity over the hard. Yes, Jesse has autism, but it looks different in each child. He is the happiest person I know and loves to laugh. For the most part he is unaware of himself, which is so refreshing. He doesn’t know he is “different”.

What I want other parents of special needs children to know is that it is not your fault and you a not a colossal failure in parenting. The way we teach and raise our kids just looks a little different. Show yourself some grace and I when I forget this, tell it to me too. Our lives are filled with a bit more misunderstanding from outsiders, worry, and stress. But I know you love your child ‘to the moon and back’ as the saying goes. You wouldn’t go to the insanely long IEP meetings if you didn’t. I know that you take her to all of the doctors’ appointments, the neurologist, audiologist, therapy, and playgroups to help your baby. Breathe a little because you are doing the best you can so give yourself some credit now and then. You wouldn’t do all of this if you weren’t an amazing parent! Today, count the blessings you see in him. Look for it because I know that through the hardship there are silver linings you can be grateful for. I see you today and I’m rooting for you.

Grace upon grace,

April

My Prayer for you

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When you realize that you can’t do it

on your own

and that maybe you aren’t enough.

Know that the God of Heaven is.

The Great I AM who is an All-Powerful

Consuming Fire

loves you like a protective mama bear

over her cubs.

I pray for you, the one who wonders

if they are noticed-

the one who feels inadequate

in his responsibilities

the one who struggles with a heavy addiction,

that dark stain which dishonors God.

May you go forth this week

washed in His Word,

dipped in the blood of the Lamb

so you come out

like fresh fallen snow

pure and clean.

You don’t have to be enough

because God is.

That is why Jesus came.

He lived to die so that you might really

start living forever

Redemption.

It’s weaved in and out of history

with a crimson cord of love

and He holds it out for you too.

Salvation is not just for those

who think they are good enough

or strong enough

because they aren’t,

we aren’t.

What we deserve and what we are offered

is the difference between life and death.

I pray you know Him.

I pray you see the Christ King

Who will one day make everything right.

He touches that heart

battered, bruised and betrayed

by the world,

opens it up and places Himself inside.

My prayer for you

is that you comprehend the deep well of love

lavished on your soul

by the sweetest name on earth: Jesus.

Look for His Handprint

today in everything

good and beautiful.

He points us to Himself that way

so that we can enjoy our Gracious God

and rejoice, again I say rejoice!

Re-Joy always.

Grace upon grace,

April

Questions & Boxing

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480813165   Sometimes my desires don’t line up with God’s plans for me. Sometimes the unexpected life turns are welcome and other times I question Him. Facing the reality of secondary infertility I wonder, how can the desire for another child be so wrong? Why does everything have to be so difficult? Why does life have to be so hard?

Forgive my cheesy analogy, but life is like a boxing match. I get in the ring with my opponent, Life, and throw some punches. I can take most of the punches too. Then there is that one blow that knocks me off my feet, flat on the ground. Do I eventually get up again, start the circle dance with my gloves back up in a fighting stance? Or do I just need to lie there like a dead fish and wave the white flag?

I think the Sovereign Lord does give us more than we can handle sometimes, for one reason: to rely on Him. It is not in my strength that I keep persevering, keep hoping, keep believing, and keep loving. It is in His strength, through the power of the Holy Spirit who dwells in me. Paul talks about his hardships being unbearable in his letter to the church in Corinth. He writes:

“We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us,” (2 Corinthians 1:8-10 NIV).

I am not strong enough to go toe to toe with Life all by myself. Jehovah is strong and He is willing. All I have to do is loosen my grip on the “what I want” and instead embrace, “not my will, but Yours be done”. Just as He spoke directly into Paul’s pain saying, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness,” (2 Cor. 12:9 NIV), the Shepherd of my soul whispers these loving words into my heart.

The Father works through submissive servants. If my will does not align with His, there will be struggle and the Spirit’s power in me is stifled. God wants my obedience and trust more than He wants my ideas. He lovingly spells it out in Scripture because God knows we need to see His promises in black and white (sometimes red) right in front of our face. That is why He has given us His words as gentle reminders of Who is really in control. He also shows us that He isn’t a cruel dictator either, but uses the living Word to woo us to Himself.

When we realize that God Almighty is the absolute best thing for us, we can rest assured that His plans are too. We do not have to pace back and forth, wringing our hands wondering if the Lord’s way of doing things is right, because it always is. When I start to get upset because my life is not going exactly how I pictured it, I can find comfort in these words of love:

“You keep him in perfect peace him whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3)

“Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to Me; hear Me, that your soul may live” (Isaiah 55:2-3)

“ ‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways’, declares the Lord” (Isaiah 55:8)

“ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart’” (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

sb10067337z-001           So yes, I would still love to have more kids but right now for whatever reason God has said ‘no’ at least to biological children. He asks us to walk by faith, not by sight. He calls us to continue to trust in what we already know of Him- God is Good, Sovereign, Holy, Loving, Pure, Just, True and Faithful. I fight in His strength and not my own, but I have to be an obedient vessel, pliable in the Hands of God. In the end, hopefully I can echo Paul’s words:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day- and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing” (2 Timothy 4:7-8 NIV).

When I don’t understand life circumstances, when I feel too weak to stand, when Life pelts me to the ground, I look up. His Hand reaches down to lift me up. He tells me to get behind Him as He acts as my Shield. I am not fighting alone, and I never have to.

“But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth.

The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to His heavenly kingdom. To Him be glory for ever and ever. Amen” (2 Timothy 4:17-18 NIV).

Grace upon grace,

April

 

We are family eternally

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482140827   There is a ladies Bible study at my church that meets on Thursday mornings. We are going through the book of Colossians right now. I am so excited to be a part of this group again since my last time to participate was before Jesse was born. Four years later it is the same familiar faces I love. Most of the women are seasoned in life, veterans who have been walking with the Lord before I was even born. They have so much wisdom among them, I just sit there soaking it in.

I look around the table at all of us, about a dozen or so, and take in their smiles, laughter, and love for one another. It is a privilege to be a part of this group. I start thinking, “This is my family. These are my sisters. We are a sisterhood of believers.” Have you ever thought about that? The people you will spend eternity with? It hits me that those who have put their faith and hope in Jesus are more family to me than actual blood relatives.

I think about the thousands of Christians who have gone before me, and the thousands now who love Jesus like I do. Some personalities may not jive, there may be vast differences in culture, language, interests, hobbies, and talents, but the one thing that binds us forever is Jesus the Messiah, our Redeemer and Savior to poor, wandering lost sheep. Followers and lovers of Christ all share the same heart. We are beautifully intertwined into His Church, the Body. We get to be included, all of us, grafted in for all eternity.

When we get to heaven we will see in panoramic view the dynamic, colorful, joyful true family that we really belong to. Haitians, Chinese, Russians, Americans, Swedish, French, Kenyans, Indonesians and so much more will grace the gates of heaven, bowing down to the Morning Star who saved us all from certain death.

My relationship with Jesus is the most vulnerable and intimate part of me. Who knows me better than the One who created me? This is where our hearts connect and the Spirit within us testifies when we speak of Jesus with each other. There have been moments when I am expressing my love for Christ, or talking through a specific passage in Scripture, or remembering a sermon we both heard with a sister of faith and I get so excited because we can share our deepest passion: Jesus. She gets it, because she too has experienced the wonderful salvation of the Lord. We are forever unified, because: “There is one body, one Spirit- just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call- one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all” (Ephesians 4:4-6 ESV).

Brothers and sisters, we are the church in which God is using in 2015. We are the ones who carry out the work and love of Christ “in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8 ESV). We are His witnesses. We are the hands, the feet, the mouth, the eye, the big toe meant to preach the life-saving, life-giving Gospel to those without hope. I know what the admonitions are to reach the perishing, but do I treat my eternal family members as if they are truly my family?

Acts 2 takes place at Pentecost. After Peter’s sermon to the crowd the Bible records 3,000 were added to the number of believers. The next passage is simply wonderful. It says all the Christians lived in harmony with each other, “with glad and sincere hearts” (2:46 NIV) and worshipped the Lord together. It sounds like heaven to me. I imagine this as a little peek into our eternal home with one another, living in glory with King Jesus. It fills me with eager anticipation.

Our first century brothers and sisters in Christ were not selfish with their time or possessions, and freely gave to anyone who had a need. They studied the Scriptures together, ate dinner in each other’s homes, prayed with one another, loved, served, fellowshipped, and praised our Heavenly Father- side by side. What if we did more of this? Do we do this? I think this kind of community living is harder today given that we are further spread apart geographically, and we each have our own little worlds to live in that demand much of our time, schedules to follow, meetings to attend. But we can strive for it anyway. It has to be intentional. In our local churches, in weekly small groups, in non-denominational Bible studies we can and should pursue Christ together.

As I ponder what exactly joy and grace look like I begin to realize that those things can be experienced in the body of Christ. As family, we can extend grace upon grace to one another and allow the joy of the Lord to take root when we realize we do not have to walk this Christian life alone. It’s hard enough as it is. I may not know you personally, but if you have placed your faith in the One I love then you are a part of me and I am a part of you. I also care for you because you are my brother or sister. We will see each other someday. We may share a meal or sing praises in heaven together.

These are the people we will enjoy heaven with- forever. But that isn’t even the best part. We will not have our flesh in sin to compete with the Spirit who dwells in us. No more misunderstandings or hurt feelings or wrongdoings. The imperfect community experienced on earth that is marred with broken, sinful vessels will one day all be restored to perfect communion. I cannot wait to worship with you, my brothers and sisters, to be alongside Paul, Ezekiel, Ruth, Moses, John the Baptist, Hannah, Stephen, Charles Spurgeon, Elisabeth Elliot, C.S. Lewis, and the myriad of saints that we can call family. Imagine all the interesting conversations we will have! When we are finally home together leaving this world behind, arm in arm, hand in hand, all of us will delight in the presence of Christ together, because we are family eternally.

Grace upon grace,

April

The Last Battle

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471013925     There are some books that come at just the right time for me to read or re-read. They have great impact and staying power as I linger over the substance weeks after I’ve finished the book. Usually they are books of encouragement and inspiration. It is a bonus if the book is fiction filled to the brim with imagination. One such author who can do that is C.S. Lewis.

I am a C.S. Lewis fan, specifically for his beloved children’s series The Chronicles of Narnia. Every year I pick up a few of the books to read through just for fun. There are seven total. This month I enjoyed reading “The Last Battle” that is the final installment in the series. Some argue book one, “The Magician’s Nephew” should be read last and not first but I prefer to stick to the sequential order (rule follower: guilty as charged). If you have never read The Chronicles of Narnia series I recommend starting at the beginning and work your way through.

I was a little surprised how much I loved this book since the last time I read it because it used to be my least favorite. Lewis beautifully parallels the Christian life to the world of Narnia. The Pevensie children, Digory, Polly, Eustace, and Jill lead similar adventures like Christian in Pilgrim’s Progress. Aslan, the Great Lion, serves as the Christ figure and he physically appears in and out of the books, as needed, but the belief in him always remains. Just like the fingerprints of God are revealed in our stories, so it is with Aslan over Narnia. His supernatural presence is always there even when he is not.

In “The Last Battle” the setting takes place during the last days of Narnia. Perhaps that is why I picked up this book in particular because it feels like we’re living in the last days of Sodom and Gomorrah right now. From chapter one we learn that a deceitful, wicked ape named Shift decides to create his own Aslan with the help of an ignorant easily deceived donkey called Puzzle. Puzzle becomes the puppet for Shift posing as the great lion himself. (False prophets anyone?)

The Narnians, who are mostly talking animals and mythical creatures, follow blindly out of fear or because they truly believe they are obeying Aslan’s orders. The majority of them do this despite the contradictions they see in Aslan’s character, what little they know of him or have been taught. Their hope, knowledge, and faith in the true Aslan is not firm, therefore the Narnians are easily swayed.

So I won’t give the whole book away, I’ll just hit the highlights of my favorite parts of the book. Namely, the last few chapters where Lewis opens the doors to the new Narnia are mesmerizing. It alludes to Heaven. Just even the teeniest tiniest insight to what that might be like is wonderful to meditate on. Lewis brings a simple understanding to how this world is but a faint copy of what is to come. Heaven already exists even though we cannot physically see it yet, so this earth foreshadows something even greater.

One day our faith will be made sight and I believe our senses will not even be able to handle it as we fall flat on our faces, so unworthy, but accepted and loved by God. The comforting theme I take away from “The Last Battle” is that this world is not our home and this is not the end, just the beginning. This is where our salvation and sanctification occur but the actual life we have belongs in Heaven. The writer of Hebrews says the men and women of faith who have gone before us “admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth […] Instead, they were longing for a better country- a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them” (Hebrews 11:13d; 16).

When we become discouraged because the earth is worn out, people revel in wickedness, and believers are left weary, take heart friend. The battle has already been won for us. This is how the narrator describes the ending to the story and coincidentally a summation of what believers can look forward to as we wait in eager expectation for what is to be:

“And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before” (228).

Grace upon grace,

April

the thief of joy

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“Comparison is the thief of joy” -Theodore Roosevelt 

A couple of years ago I signed up for a casual one-time painting class where I was going to have a masterpiece by the time it was over. That was the sales pitch anyway. Three hours later, as other women snapped pictures of themselves with their artwork, giddy and content from unleashing their inner Van Gogh, I thought mine looked more like an abstract Picasso picture. Clearly a three-year-old year could have painted mine. I just didn’t like how it turned out. The hilarious part was I kept attending these painting classes over and over again determined to find my creative side. I can only compare it to hitting one’s head against a brick wall, expecting a different result other than getting a huge goose egg and a deficit in my bank account.

This is supposed to be relaxing, I thought. Instead my perfectionist side breaks out and I get tense. I partly blame being left-handed. Every time I tried to paint my hand would drag through the fresh strokes leaving smudges, with a side of frustration. My downfall came when I looked at the other paintings during the class. Some women totally ignored the instructor’s elementary-style teaching and free handed the entire thing. They would finish way ahead of the class and their paintings were something for others to “ooh” and “ahh” at. I was dumbfounded.

After six or seven attempts I finally resigned, accepting the fact that I am not very artistic. I could have probably enjoyed the painting classes regardless of my skill level. The problem arose when I began comparing my artwork to someone else’s. Looking back I see how ridiculous this was and robbed myself of a lot of fun. If only I had kept my eyes on my own paper and chilled out.

Comparison is a dangerous game. Sometimes we do it almost automatically because in our flesh there is a desire to be superior, better than, and important. If we don’t guard our thoughts, hiding ourselves in Christ, we can forget our identity and worth in Him. We cannot be at rest or secure in who God made us to be when we compete with one another. Comparing ourselves leads to envy and discontentment. A stubborn, bitter root will start to grow if not quickly uprooted. We begin to believe we have nothing to offer because someone else does it better than you. The truth is that our value is not determined by another, or even by our own standards. Jesus demonstrated our worth when He died on the cross for our sins.

It is easy to get caught up in using the measuring stick against one another. He is a better Christian than me; She is more successful because she has a career outside the home; I am a better mom because I stay at home. The list can go on and on and around in circles. What essentially happens is that we step on others going up the ladder as we to try to make ourselves little gods. We start setting value on others as more or less than us, instead of seeing each other as the work of our Creator.

But when we celebrate the gifts and abilities God gave each of us, we turn our hearts toward Him in worship. This is practicing a grateful heart with joy. Weeding out the ‘haves’ and ‘have not’s’ allows us to better connect with others if we are not comparing ourselves. How boring would it be if all of our paintings looked EXACTLY the same? If we had the same gifts we could not serve one another and function like the body of Christ.

The work of your hands or contribution in society does not judge your worth because if you are in Christ, your identity in Jesus Christ is already enough. We can bravely just be who He created us to be and live and serve with purpose. Christian, when you feel that temptation to validate yourself to another, trust that you are enough to the Lord because He is enough in you.

Grace upon grace,

April

Knitting our hearts

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“My three children have given me many gifts, but perhaps the most surprising one is a renewed understanding of Christian hospitality. In Biblical times, hospitality often meant welcoming strangers in need of a meal or shelter. For Jesus, it meant including outsiders in meals and fellowship. For us, it can mean those things as well, but it can also mean welcoming not merely strangers and outsiders, but anyone whose messy, noisy, needy presence threatens the ordered, predictable, comfortable life we crave.” –Ellen Painter Dollar

           Thanksgiving at my grandparents’ house is something I looked forward to growing up. We enjoyed a feast that my grandma worked so hard to prepare. Afterward my cousins and I, along with a few of the adults would go on a walk around the neighborhood to work off the turkey. Usually the late afternoon was cool enough to linger on our stroll. In the empty streets the kids could have short foot races, walk backwards, twirl, or walk in groups of three, chatting and laughing. When we got back to the house most of us were ready for round 2. Dessert. I couldn’t wait for dessert. My grandma made peanut butter blossoms and pies. Oh the pies! Chocolate, pumpkin, pecan, and cherry are the ones that stick out in my mind. Even now, my grandma remembers that my favorite is cherry pie. She is a wonderful cook, baker, and hostess. This is where I first started learning about hospitality.

I have watched my grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, sister, in-laws, and sisters-in-law practice the art of hospitality. It doesn’t all look the same either, which is a relief. There is not a cookie-cutter standard in which I have to meet. Pinterest might say otherwise, but I am learning that hospitality simply means opening my home to others. It is inviting someone into my life, even for a few hours and allowing them to feel at home as well.

Over the last couple of years on Mother’s Day my dad has made a point to honor the women in my family in a very specific way. Since most of us would rather eat lunch at home on a day that is particularly busy for restaurants, my parents instead invite everyone to eat at their house. My dad vacuums and cleans so my mom does not have to. He plans the menu and executes. The food is either mostly catered or he grills out. The point is for moms to not have to cook that day. He blesses us through his gift of service and thoughtfulness.

My mother-in-law, Charolette, shows her love to others through cooking. Whenever she has company in her home, you can bet she has prepared something. When the whole family is together she cooks for all 21 of us. Charolette always says she’ll just make a few things, but 18 side dishes, 5 meats, and 14 desserts later we have a banquet spread. My father-in-law quietly serves by washing the dishes after everyone else has flopped on the couch from a food-induced coma. They both welcome others in their home, inviting you to make it yours for however long you stay.

We are not all made exactly the same, each possessing different gifts and abilities. Our schedules may vary as well, some more demanding than others. One person may have more time to devote to however simple or elaborate their hospitality gestures are. Yet the one constant in all of the people that inspire me is their heart to serve and bless others. It is beautiful to watch in motion. Love and generosity are acted out in the different homes I visit. Food is also a common denominator but it does not mean I have to be the next Rachael Ray or Paula Deen. I have been known to toss the pre-made break off cookie dough in the oven for my guests, nothing wrong with that. It can be as simple as grilled cheeses and chips. Food is just something that brings people together no matter how different they are. Everyone has to eat. Breaking bread together merely helps foster fellowship.

Hospitality is a lovely demonstration of service, acceptance, and friendship. For the believer, this is one way we act as the body of Christ, actively living out unity and community in the Church. We start to act like the family we are. Hospitality looks like enjoying one another’s company over freshly baked bread. It is pouring our hearts out over a cup of coffee. Hospitality means inviting someone into the ordinary but sacred moments with you, whether it is with one guest or 30. We laugh together, confide in, pray with one another, and encourage each other. God created us for relational living, so as we knit our hearts through spending time in each other’s homes, we may not only be a blessing to someone, but also find that we are blessed in the process.

Grace upon grace,

April

Where Joy and Sorrow meet

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508476453When we watch world events play out right before us on our iPhones, computer screens, televisions, and newspapers (do people still read those?), it is easy to get discouraged when the news is so negative and heartbreaking. In a lot of ways, our world seems much smaller due to accessible technology that we receive every bit of information from the macro to the micro. History shows us that since Adam and Eve, humanity is full of sin, sorrow, and wickedness. It is just that in the last 20 years we are able to get a magnified view with the World Wide Web becoming commonplace. The last few months especially have come in great big tidal waves as sin is celebrated, encouraged, and even fought for.

Sadly we have seen a transgender man on the world’s stage wrestle with his identity, insecure of who he is, because he doesn’t know.

Marriages have been ripped apart and families broken over secret sins of adultery exposing their shame.

Babies unwanted by their mothers are dismantled and circulated for commerce. The big news is that now we can no longer turn a blind eye protesting, “we did not know”. It is a huge turning point in abortion because the undercover videos have forced all of us to look at our own conscience and decide where we stand. By the way, passivity is also an active choice. Inaction is action.

The breaking point for me came when I accidentally ran across the picture of the little boy washed up on the shore in Turkey. Jason told me about it first. I didn’t want to see it. I knew what my reaction would be- complete sobbing. There is so much sorrow in our world that I’m finding myself fighting for joy.

How do we as Christians maintain the deep-seated, quiet joy that is found only in Christ when all around us is grief? How do joy and sorrow mingle together? I am finding it hard to go about my life full of abundance and freedom, when across the ocean Syrians are fleeing their homeland. They are running for their lives, afraid, literally dying to find safety.

As I wrestle with this, here is the thing I keep coming back to- it is all about who or what I put my trust in. I’m not going to lie, seeing the picture of Aylan, the lifeless Syrian toddler shook me to the core. That could have been my son. He could have been your child.

I have to hold on to the truth of who God is. I have to remind myself that He is Good and He is Sovereign. This is where my faith lies. It has to. Finding our joy in the midst of such pain and injustice means believing in the Almighty’s attributes and promises. We can be comforted knowing this is not the end. Heaven awaits those who have placed their faith in Jesus.

“The Lord has made proclamation to the ends of the earth: Say to the Daughter of Zion, ‘See, your Savior comes! See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him’ They will be called the Holy People, the Redeemed of the Lord; and you will be called Sought After, the City No Longer Deserted” (Isaiah 62:11-12 NIV; italics mine). “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning […] You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever” (Psalm 30:5; 11-12 NIV). The promises of God are refreshing like a cool cup of water. His Words wash over me and restore the joy I couldn’t find.

Even when politicians act like arrogant little children and a woman is persecuted for her Christian beliefs in Kentucky, we know Who holds the future. Just as the seasons are constant and the days are reliable so are the promises of God. His promises are true- lovely and pure. “I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness” (Isaiah 61:10 NIV).

So where do joy and sorrow meet? The two intertwine at the foot of the cross, in the nail scars on Jesus’ hands and feet. Our Savior endured the greatest evil of all for our sake. Sin has already been paid for, death is conquered and we eagerly look forward to the Great Day at the Wedding Feast with our beautiful, magnificent Bridegroom. I promise, it will all take our breath away when we behold such a sight. But mostly, seeing Jesus face to face will leave us in awe and praise. We will shed the burdens that weigh us down and be lifted up into His light. While our eyes take in what happens around us, our hearts are fixed on Jesus who lives within us, heaven above us. Wait for that Glorious Meeting.

Grace upon grace,

April

Go Deeper: Psalm 30; Isaiah 61-66; Colossians 3:1-4; Hebrews 12:1-2

There is Grace

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511939471         Saturday was a national day of protest against Planned Parenthood in light of the atrocities many have seen from the undercover videos released. I attended the one in my city and for the most part it was a peaceful demonstration for those who were there to defend the defenseless. There were a handful of pro-abortion supporters who came to deter us and drown out speeches, prayer, and hymn singing with shouting and loud music. Ironically their music blasted lyrics degrading women. I saw their hostility and ugly signs and then it hit me. My heart breaks over the murder of unborn babies, but also for them. I cried behind my sunglasses seeing their anger, ultimately their hatred of God. Whispering prayers aloud (probably looking a little crazy), pleading with God to have mercy on their souls, to soften hearts, to save them, and break the heavy chains of unbelief. If only they knew the freedom Jesus gives.

We all need the life redeeming, death crushing, soul saving, beautiful Gospel message of Jesus Christ. He is the One who rescues a condemned soul from the gates of Hell. Christians cannot change the mind of a pro-abortionist until our Savior changes their heart. Only He has the power to do that. I realized then that it is not an “us versus them” mentality. It is not strictly about who wins the argument more than it is about believers speaking truth into the heart of the hardened when opportunity arises. Speaking words of wisdom and love, acting in kindness.

Grace and love are two of my favorite words because of Who and what they represent. If I am to be like Christ then I must practice these actions to others on a daily basis. Is it easy? Nope. Especially to those I feel don’t deserve it. But the truth is, none of us deserved God’s grace and forgiveness, and He freely gave it to us anyway wrapped up in salvation through Jesus Christ. Jesus’ words are recorded in Luke 6 when He says, “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you […] If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that […] Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:27-28; 32-33; 36 NIV).

John Newton is the man who penned the famous hymn ‘Amazing Grace’, in collaboration with William Cowper. What led Newton to write these words is a remarkable journey in itself. As a young man he was forced into the British Royal Navy. After a failed attempt to escape his fate, Newton was publicly flogged and demoted. He then requested a transfer aboard a slave ship. On the coast of Sierra Leone, Newton was abandoned by his crew and became a servant of a harsh slave trader where he was relentlessly abused.

Newton was not a believer at this point and in fact led a rebellious life. He kept running from God, but the Lord continued to pursue him through various circumstances. One of those times occurred during a violent storm out at sea which threatened to sink the ship. Newton was captain of his own ship by now, and he was heavily involved in slave trade. In a moment of desperation he cried out for God’s mercy on him. He would later recall that moment in his life as a spiritual turning point. The wheels of grace began turning.

He continued working as a slave trader until 1754 after an illness caused him to hang up his seafaring ways for good. Newton applied for the Anglican priesthood in 1757 and became minister at Olney in Buckinghamshire in 1764. During this period of Newton’s life he met and befriended figures who had great impact on his spiritual growth- George Whitefield, John Wesley, and William Cowper to name a few. John Newton began to regret his time as a slave trader and recounted its horrors in tracts. He describes in detail the conditions of the ships and the life of a slave aboard the ship. Newton became an avid supporter and influencer in the abolition movement because of his personal experience and spiritual convictions.

‘Amazing Grace’ is a summation of his past life before Christ and the continued work of grace even after salvation. These are the first 3 verses to the beloved hymn:

‘Amazing grace! How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found;

Was blind, but now I see.

 

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed.

 

Through many dangers, toils, and snares,

I have already come;

‘Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home.’

I do not minimize the sin of those who favor abortion but I do maximize the truth of the Gospel because there is grace. There is forgiveness. There is redemption found in Jesus Christ alone. This is what is needed more than anything else. The tide of abortion can change with one heart at a time repenting and knowing Jesus as Savior.

“Then did the dead heart begin to beat,

the darkened eye glimmer with light,

the dull ear catch thy echo,

and I turned to thee and found thee,

a God ready to hear, willing to save […]

Then didst thou come to me in silken robes of love,

and I saw thy Son dying that I might live,

and in that death I found my all.

My soul doth sing at the remembrance of

that peace; […]

Grant that I may always weep to the praise of

mercy found,

and tell to others as long as I live,

that thou art a sin-pardoning God,

taking up the blasphemer and the ungodly,

and washing them from their deepest stain.”

(‘The Great Discovery’, The Valley of Vision, p. 112-3)

Grace upon grace,

April

A Human(e) Proposal

/ RedeemedInGrace / 2 Comments

128559951Consider the following quotes by pro-choice advocate Ms. Mary Elizabeth Williams. Her article is titled ‘So what if abortion ends a life?’.

“I believe that life starts at conception. And it’s never stopped me from being pro-choice.”

“… I know that throughout my own pregnancies, I never wavered for a moment in the belief that I was carrying a human life inside of me. I believe that’s what a fetus is: a human life. And that doesn’t make me one iota less solidly pro-choice.”

“Here’s the complicated reality in which we live: All life is not equal […] a fetus can be a human life without having the same rights as the woman in whose body it resides. She’s the boss. Her life and what is right for her circumstances and her health should automatically trump the rights of the non-autonomous entity inside of her. Always.”

Wow.

So…yeah, Ms. Williams and her like-minded followers are gripping harder to their position for pro-choice. They are also acknowledging the fact that life does indeed begin at conception. If she and others like her affirm this, then they knowingly and willingly kill human life. In fact they defend it and promote it. This is how hardened our hearts can be, and if it were not for the grace of God who is to say that you or I would think the same way in our unbelieving, unregenerate, depraved state? We are not any better except God’s mercy has been bestowed upon us.

Pro-choice advocates are no longer dancing around the terms cloaked in vagueness about abortion. It is very matter-of-fact, unapologetically saying, ‘yes, I see that this is a baby, so what?’ These people love to play God and are under the illusion that they are in “control” of the womb. How sadly mistaken they are! If a pro-choice supporter agrees that creation made in the secret place of a womb is life, a human, a future man or woman, then it seems to me that there are a lot of holes left in their position. Now I am not a rocket scientist, brain surgeon, or frankly the brightest light bulb, but if an abortionist supports murdering life in the womb, why stop there? Why not extend it to two year olds, five year olds, and 85 year olds? All in the name of “research” of course. You get to choose who is expendable.

Ever read Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal? It is satire in which the speaker comes up with a “solution” to help the over populated lower class. He suggests that they have those children, plumping them up to be nice and tender, ready for sale by one year of age, sold to the rich…to be eaten. The subtitle reads: for Preventing the Children of poor People in Ireland from being a Burden to their Parents or Country; and for making them beneficial to the Publick. Overpopulation problem solved. Now readers definitely see the absurdity in this, but are we not too far off from it? We certainly do not eat children we just maim, dismember, and sell off their body parts. That is, if we decide not to crush them and succeed at keeping a child “intact”. Genetic research problem solved.

Who gives us that right to see to it that some babies are treated like lab rats while others are given the privilege to live? Answer: We don’t have that right to say who lives and who dies. It is the height of hubris and wickedness of man. And yet just as the nameless speaker in A Modest Proposal calmly advocates cannibalism for the sake of the economy, abortionists rationalize murder for the sake of scientific research. Swift “indicts the English for inhumanity, the Irish for passivity, and the economically oriented proposer of remedies for moral blindness” (1). I would say that abortionists are inhumane, the Christians passive and the pro-choice supporters morally blind.

Christians are not living out their call to love well if we look the other way on this issue. “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:6-7 NIV). What are we to protect, trust in, hope in, and persevere in? Love. Followers of Jesus love well when we are protectors of truth. Part of that truth means believing in the value and sanctity of each life. This is what the psalmist says about the Creator of Life when He made each of us: “My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body” (Psalm 139:15-16). So what are we do to? What is required of us? That is also found in Scripture. Micah 6:8 says, “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (NIV). This is the calling on our lives for those who passionately love, serve, and belong to Christ. Seek justice for those who cannot do it themselves, and live in a way that represents mercy on our fellow man, all created in the image of God. And best of all, we walk in fellowship with the Lord, humbly serving Him, acknowledging that He is Sovereign over everything. Live it out brothers and sisters, in grace, in love, in truth.

Grace upon grace,

April

Notes:

  1. The Norton Anthology: Western Literature, 8th ed., vol. 2, 291; 341-47.