Author: RedeemedInGrace

Where Joy and Sorrow meet

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508476453When we watch world events play out right before us on our iPhones, computer screens, televisions, and newspapers (do people still read those?), it is easy to get discouraged when the news is so negative and heartbreaking. In a lot of ways, our world seems much smaller due to accessible technology that we receive every bit of information from the macro to the micro. History shows us that since Adam and Eve, humanity is full of sin, sorrow, and wickedness. It is just that in the last 20 years we are able to get a magnified view with the World Wide Web becoming commonplace. The last few months especially have come in great big tidal waves as sin is celebrated, encouraged, and even fought for.

Sadly we have seen a transgender man on the world’s stage wrestle with his identity, insecure of who he is, because he doesn’t know.

Marriages have been ripped apart and families broken over secret sins of adultery exposing their shame.

Babies unwanted by their mothers are dismantled and circulated for commerce. The big news is that now we can no longer turn a blind eye protesting, “we did not know”. It is a huge turning point in abortion because the undercover videos have forced all of us to look at our own conscience and decide where we stand. By the way, passivity is also an active choice. Inaction is action.

The breaking point for me came when I accidentally ran across the picture of the little boy washed up on the shore in Turkey. Jason told me about it first. I didn’t want to see it. I knew what my reaction would be- complete sobbing. There is so much sorrow in our world that I’m finding myself fighting for joy.

How do we as Christians maintain the deep-seated, quiet joy that is found only in Christ when all around us is grief? How do joy and sorrow mingle together? I am finding it hard to go about my life full of abundance and freedom, when across the ocean Syrians are fleeing their homeland. They are running for their lives, afraid, literally dying to find safety.

As I wrestle with this, here is the thing I keep coming back to- it is all about who or what I put my trust in. I’m not going to lie, seeing the picture of Aylan, the lifeless Syrian toddler shook me to the core. That could have been my son. He could have been your child.

I have to hold on to the truth of who God is. I have to remind myself that He is Good and He is Sovereign. This is where my faith lies. It has to. Finding our joy in the midst of such pain and injustice means believing in the Almighty’s attributes and promises. We can be comforted knowing this is not the end. Heaven awaits those who have placed their faith in Jesus.

“The Lord has made proclamation to the ends of the earth: Say to the Daughter of Zion, ‘See, your Savior comes! See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him’ They will be called the Holy People, the Redeemed of the Lord; and you will be called Sought After, the City No Longer Deserted” (Isaiah 62:11-12 NIV; italics mine). “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning […] You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever” (Psalm 30:5; 11-12 NIV). The promises of God are refreshing like a cool cup of water. His Words wash over me and restore the joy I couldn’t find.

Even when politicians act like arrogant little children and a woman is persecuted for her Christian beliefs in Kentucky, we know Who holds the future. Just as the seasons are constant and the days are reliable so are the promises of God. His promises are true- lovely and pure. “I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness” (Isaiah 61:10 NIV).

So where do joy and sorrow meet? The two intertwine at the foot of the cross, in the nail scars on Jesus’ hands and feet. Our Savior endured the greatest evil of all for our sake. Sin has already been paid for, death is conquered and we eagerly look forward to the Great Day at the Wedding Feast with our beautiful, magnificent Bridegroom. I promise, it will all take our breath away when we behold such a sight. But mostly, seeing Jesus face to face will leave us in awe and praise. We will shed the burdens that weigh us down and be lifted up into His light. While our eyes take in what happens around us, our hearts are fixed on Jesus who lives within us, heaven above us. Wait for that Glorious Meeting.

Grace upon grace,

April

Go Deeper: Psalm 30; Isaiah 61-66; Colossians 3:1-4; Hebrews 12:1-2

There is Grace

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511939471         Saturday was a national day of protest against Planned Parenthood in light of the atrocities many have seen from the undercover videos released. I attended the one in my city and for the most part it was a peaceful demonstration for those who were there to defend the defenseless. There were a handful of pro-abortion supporters who came to deter us and drown out speeches, prayer, and hymn singing with shouting and loud music. Ironically their music blasted lyrics degrading women. I saw their hostility and ugly signs and then it hit me. My heart breaks over the murder of unborn babies, but also for them. I cried behind my sunglasses seeing their anger, ultimately their hatred of God. Whispering prayers aloud (probably looking a little crazy), pleading with God to have mercy on their souls, to soften hearts, to save them, and break the heavy chains of unbelief. If only they knew the freedom Jesus gives.

We all need the life redeeming, death crushing, soul saving, beautiful Gospel message of Jesus Christ. He is the One who rescues a condemned soul from the gates of Hell. Christians cannot change the mind of a pro-abortionist until our Savior changes their heart. Only He has the power to do that. I realized then that it is not an “us versus them” mentality. It is not strictly about who wins the argument more than it is about believers speaking truth into the heart of the hardened when opportunity arises. Speaking words of wisdom and love, acting in kindness.

Grace and love are two of my favorite words because of Who and what they represent. If I am to be like Christ then I must practice these actions to others on a daily basis. Is it easy? Nope. Especially to those I feel don’t deserve it. But the truth is, none of us deserved God’s grace and forgiveness, and He freely gave it to us anyway wrapped up in salvation through Jesus Christ. Jesus’ words are recorded in Luke 6 when He says, “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you […] If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that […] Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:27-28; 32-33; 36 NIV).

John Newton is the man who penned the famous hymn ‘Amazing Grace’, in collaboration with William Cowper. What led Newton to write these words is a remarkable journey in itself. As a young man he was forced into the British Royal Navy. After a failed attempt to escape his fate, Newton was publicly flogged and demoted. He then requested a transfer aboard a slave ship. On the coast of Sierra Leone, Newton was abandoned by his crew and became a servant of a harsh slave trader where he was relentlessly abused.

Newton was not a believer at this point and in fact led a rebellious life. He kept running from God, but the Lord continued to pursue him through various circumstances. One of those times occurred during a violent storm out at sea which threatened to sink the ship. Newton was captain of his own ship by now, and he was heavily involved in slave trade. In a moment of desperation he cried out for God’s mercy on him. He would later recall that moment in his life as a spiritual turning point. The wheels of grace began turning.

He continued working as a slave trader until 1754 after an illness caused him to hang up his seafaring ways for good. Newton applied for the Anglican priesthood in 1757 and became minister at Olney in Buckinghamshire in 1764. During this period of Newton’s life he met and befriended figures who had great impact on his spiritual growth- George Whitefield, John Wesley, and William Cowper to name a few. John Newton began to regret his time as a slave trader and recounted its horrors in tracts. He describes in detail the conditions of the ships and the life of a slave aboard the ship. Newton became an avid supporter and influencer in the abolition movement because of his personal experience and spiritual convictions.

‘Amazing Grace’ is a summation of his past life before Christ and the continued work of grace even after salvation. These are the first 3 verses to the beloved hymn:

‘Amazing grace! How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found;

Was blind, but now I see.

 

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed.

 

Through many dangers, toils, and snares,

I have already come;

‘Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home.’

I do not minimize the sin of those who favor abortion but I do maximize the truth of the Gospel because there is grace. There is forgiveness. There is redemption found in Jesus Christ alone. This is what is needed more than anything else. The tide of abortion can change with one heart at a time repenting and knowing Jesus as Savior.

“Then did the dead heart begin to beat,

the darkened eye glimmer with light,

the dull ear catch thy echo,

and I turned to thee and found thee,

a God ready to hear, willing to save […]

Then didst thou come to me in silken robes of love,

and I saw thy Son dying that I might live,

and in that death I found my all.

My soul doth sing at the remembrance of

that peace; […]

Grant that I may always weep to the praise of

mercy found,

and tell to others as long as I live,

that thou art a sin-pardoning God,

taking up the blasphemer and the ungodly,

and washing them from their deepest stain.”

(‘The Great Discovery’, The Valley of Vision, p. 112-3)

Grace upon grace,

April

A Human(e) Proposal

/ RedeemedInGrace / 2 Comments

128559951Consider the following quotes by pro-choice advocate Ms. Mary Elizabeth Williams. Her article is titled ‘So what if abortion ends a life?’.

“I believe that life starts at conception. And it’s never stopped me from being pro-choice.”

“… I know that throughout my own pregnancies, I never wavered for a moment in the belief that I was carrying a human life inside of me. I believe that’s what a fetus is: a human life. And that doesn’t make me one iota less solidly pro-choice.”

“Here’s the complicated reality in which we live: All life is not equal […] a fetus can be a human life without having the same rights as the woman in whose body it resides. She’s the boss. Her life and what is right for her circumstances and her health should automatically trump the rights of the non-autonomous entity inside of her. Always.”

Wow.

So…yeah, Ms. Williams and her like-minded followers are gripping harder to their position for pro-choice. They are also acknowledging the fact that life does indeed begin at conception. If she and others like her affirm this, then they knowingly and willingly kill human life. In fact they defend it and promote it. This is how hardened our hearts can be, and if it were not for the grace of God who is to say that you or I would think the same way in our unbelieving, unregenerate, depraved state? We are not any better except God’s mercy has been bestowed upon us.

Pro-choice advocates are no longer dancing around the terms cloaked in vagueness about abortion. It is very matter-of-fact, unapologetically saying, ‘yes, I see that this is a baby, so what?’ These people love to play God and are under the illusion that they are in “control” of the womb. How sadly mistaken they are! If a pro-choice supporter agrees that creation made in the secret place of a womb is life, a human, a future man or woman, then it seems to me that there are a lot of holes left in their position. Now I am not a rocket scientist, brain surgeon, or frankly the brightest light bulb, but if an abortionist supports murdering life in the womb, why stop there? Why not extend it to two year olds, five year olds, and 85 year olds? All in the name of “research” of course. You get to choose who is expendable.

Ever read Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal? It is satire in which the speaker comes up with a “solution” to help the over populated lower class. He suggests that they have those children, plumping them up to be nice and tender, ready for sale by one year of age, sold to the rich…to be eaten. The subtitle reads: for Preventing the Children of poor People in Ireland from being a Burden to their Parents or Country; and for making them beneficial to the Publick. Overpopulation problem solved. Now readers definitely see the absurdity in this, but are we not too far off from it? We certainly do not eat children we just maim, dismember, and sell off their body parts. That is, if we decide not to crush them and succeed at keeping a child “intact”. Genetic research problem solved.

Who gives us that right to see to it that some babies are treated like lab rats while others are given the privilege to live? Answer: We don’t have that right to say who lives and who dies. It is the height of hubris and wickedness of man. And yet just as the nameless speaker in A Modest Proposal calmly advocates cannibalism for the sake of the economy, abortionists rationalize murder for the sake of scientific research. Swift “indicts the English for inhumanity, the Irish for passivity, and the economically oriented proposer of remedies for moral blindness” (1). I would say that abortionists are inhumane, the Christians passive and the pro-choice supporters morally blind.

Christians are not living out their call to love well if we look the other way on this issue. “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:6-7 NIV). What are we to protect, trust in, hope in, and persevere in? Love. Followers of Jesus love well when we are protectors of truth. Part of that truth means believing in the value and sanctity of each life. This is what the psalmist says about the Creator of Life when He made each of us: “My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body” (Psalm 139:15-16). So what are we do to? What is required of us? That is also found in Scripture. Micah 6:8 says, “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (NIV). This is the calling on our lives for those who passionately love, serve, and belong to Christ. Seek justice for those who cannot do it themselves, and live in a way that represents mercy on our fellow man, all created in the image of God. And best of all, we walk in fellowship with the Lord, humbly serving Him, acknowledging that He is Sovereign over everything. Live it out brothers and sisters, in grace, in love, in truth.

Grace upon grace,

April

Notes:

  1. The Norton Anthology: Western Literature, 8th ed., vol. 2, 291; 341-47.

Brave heart

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524704907“ ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’ He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!’ Then he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.’ ” (Revelation 21:4-5 NIV)

 

I have seen the undercover videos that expose Planned Parenthood for what it truly is. I have seen with my own eyes the mutilated flesh of an infant, 18-20 weeks alive in the womb, a twin actually. I saw a tiny clenched fist and two little legs in the pile as the medical assistant sifted through the remains of “sellable” organs. I watched, speechless, heart in throat, feeling like I might vomit as I processed in my mind the barbaric reality. Abortion has been legal in the U.S. since 1973 and as a result, millions of children murdered. Somehow though, seeing it with my own eyes, hearing the crunch of a skull as examiners attempt to retrieve the brain “intact”, strikes directly at my heart and conscience. I can never un-see those things and now, I can never walk in ignorance either. I didn’t even watch the videos all the way through because it was all so disturbing. I have a pretty vivid imagination that can guess how the rest of it played out.

Eighteenth century abolitionist and poet Hannah More said, “It should be held as an eternal truth, that what is morally wrong can never be politically right” (Fierce Convictions, Karen Swallow Prior). She was referring to slave trade but the same holds true for abortion. It is another form of human trafficking, which makes a profit off of body parts. It celebrates the degradation of human life and dignity.

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When it feels like Satan is winning it is easy for the Christian to become discouraged. What is abominable and wicked is deemed acceptable and normal. They nod their heads ‘yes’ in casual agreement over Mexican food and a glass of wine, business as usual. They cannot see the blood on their hands. What are we to do? How can we be a voice for the voiceless when we feel so helpless?

2 Chronicles 20 recounts the time when King Jehoshaphat was informed that the Moabites and Ammonites were on the march to make war with Judah. Faced with this sudden attack Jehoshaphat did the only thing he knew to do in his time of need. The Bible records he “resolved to inquire of the Lord, and he proclaimed a fast for all Judah. The people of Judah came together to seek help from the Lord; indeed, they came from every town in Judah to seek Him” (2 Chronicles 20:3-4 NIV). Jehoshaphat prayed for Judah, pleading with Jehovah, “O our God, will You not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon You” (2 Chronicles 20:12 NIV; italics mine).

I think this is one of the most transparent and humble prayers coming from a king. Jehoshaphat knew Who was in control and sought the Lord’s favor and guidance. The Scriptures also say that all of the rest of Judah, men, women, and children stood there before the Lord. They were united in One Hope. We need that in 2015. When the enemy attacks and the violence is relentless do we seek the Father’s help? How are we responding? Pray. Yes, pray fervently. Is the Lord asking you to become bold in stepping out and speaking up? Are you called to serve an organization that promotes life? Each Christian has unique gifts and special callings. We are only to obey. Be brave. Even if right now the way you stand against abortion is to choose to have your child. Raise your babies to fear and love the Lord. Teach them to be Christ-like.

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Our Matchless King demonstrated His power to Judah and king Jehoshaphat. The rest of 2 Chronicles 20 says that God spoke words of encouragement to them. The Lord said: “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s”(20:15 NIV). God has the ultimate victory. He will fight for us when we are limp and can barely hold up our shields. The Lord told the people of Judah: “You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you’” (20:17 NIV). He calls us to have courage, be strong, and trust in Him. It means we are not alone and therefore do not act alone. When we are obedient to look to Him, and stand in truth, He will allow His power to work through us and change the world, little by little. We have the privilege to be the Potter’s instruments.

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When it feels like Satan is winning we can hold fast to the truth that Adonai is on His throne. When it feels like Satan is winning we can look to that Day when the Perfect Judge executes perfect justice. When it feels like Satan is winning we can cling to the knowledge that God has already won. He is Jehovah-Nissi, ‘The Lord is My Banner’. You see, we as Christians can look forward to the promises of God when all is made new, restored, perfected and glorified. One day. Will be. Future tense. Sin and this world will pass away someday. The lives of these precious children who never had the chance to live will not have been taken in vain. No, God sees the sewage of sin, the stench reaching to His nostrils. When we feel helpless as Christians we can humbly cry out to the Lord like Judah’s ancient king and say, “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.”

Grace upon grace,

April

To watch the Undercover Planned Parenthood videos go to: http://www.theblaze.com

For further information on supporting life and adoption go to: http://www.choose-life.org

Caution: Sanctification in Progress!

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I like to sleep, perhaps too much. Slowly the Lord is stripping away this desire toward slothfulness. Part of having a son on the autism spectrum is his inability to stay asleep through the night. He seems to not require a whole lot of it, which for me is bad news. I can be pretty cranky if I have not slept well, especially if those sleepless nights occur one after another. Let me re-phrase that: I am downright ill without sleep (Southern translation: “mean as a snake!”).

I have a beautiful life and I am abundantly blessed, but my life is also messy and broken. Lack of sleep has shown me more than any other trial just how ugly I am in my flesh. God has used this to peel back the layers of my sin. Just when I think I am “doing okay” and “spiritual enough”, I get hit with a holy 2×4 to knock some sense into me!

I do not remember my son having problems sleeping through the night as a baby until he was eight months old. I distinctly remember this because it was over the Christmas holidays and we were visiting my in-laws. Oh my stars that was rough! From that point on it has been a struggle for the little guy. Since Jesse does not sleep well at night he falls asleep sometimes in the most random places. He is well known for catnaps at restaurants, and on other peoples’ couches. A few times he has fallen asleep in the church nursery, on the floor. The other kids did not seem to mind, they just continued playing around him. No big deal.

It has definitely made me thankful for the gift of sleep when everyone in my house does get a good night of rest. Those moments in the middle of the night when he is up for two to four hours, I have a choice to make. I can become Hulk-like in my anger or I can earnestly pray for wisdom and compassion. I admit I often fail to extend grace to my little guy at 2am so when I have a supernatural work of patience and love I know it is from the Holy Spirit. Too many times I would get frustrated with him because I thought he was being disobedient. I would say, “Go. To. Sleep!!” for the 100th time without any success. However, I have learned as a fairly new parent a few things: I cannot make him sleep. I have also learned that his struggle with sleep is not his fault. It is a symptom of an autistic child and research still cannot answer why many with autism have this problem. Is it neurological, psychological, physical, or environmental? The list goes on.

When something as essential as sleep is taken away I see my truest self…and my need for Jesus. More than once I have had to apologize to my four year old for getting angry with him over this issue. I do not know if he even understands, but I say I am sorry anyway. I bend down to his level so his eyes meet mine, and sign ‘sorry’ to him. He signs it back. I explain to him that even mommy sins and I need Jesus too.

It has been a humbling experience to see how truly sinful I am. But then morning comes and God’s mercies are new, His grace is fresh. I am functioning on empty for the most part and yet on those days especially I feel His strength and sustaining grace.

I often have conversations with the Lord (sometimes in frustration) related to His Sovereignty and power to help Jesse sleep through the night, and why this is still an issue. I expect Him to fix it. And yet, God has a much better plan with how to use this trial- April’s sanctification. (Groan). I really am thankful for spiritual growth however small it may be, it is just the growing part that can be painful and inconvenient. It is a pruning process, necessary for the best fruit. Jesus is the Vine and His chosen ones are the branches. I must cling to Him as if my life depends on it, because it does.

So, to the mama with a newborn who has yet to sleep through the night; to the parent of an autistic child who sleeps poorly like mine; and to the parent with a child who has trouble sleeping or refuses to sleep, God sees your weary spirit and tired eyes. You offer up a plea to make this stop partly out of frustration and the feeling that you just might go certifiably insane if you do not get relief soon. God sees you and He knows your situation. It may be for a season or it might last a whole lot longer than you hoped. But friend, God can and will carry you through it! I do not know exactly how in the specifics of your life but trust in Him anyway. Those days you find yourself on survival mode, think of a Scripture verse or a worship song to sing over and over again until the attitude of your heart is at peace. “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3 ESV). God is with you, exhausted as you are. Remain in Him and see His grace at work. There will be beautiful, vibrant fruit in due season.

Grace upon grace,

April

So, what now?

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What do you do when the dreams you had planned for your life are dashed? What do you do when the life you envisioned for yourself does not come to fruition? For me, part of my disappointment has been secondary infertility. This means that I have one child, conceived without any problem, but for some reason the second time around my body has not cooperated. It is like the factory shut down and my body stopped doing a very natural thing women were created to do- have children.

My husband and I wanted more children, siblings for our son who is now four. We wanted kids close in age, so when our son Jesse, was nine months old we hoped it would not be long before he had a brother or sister. I think the first year I was in denial that there was a problem. I mean the women in my family have never had any issues in being able to conceive. I come from hearty stock, I thought. Then as the months passed by, turning into years I began to wonder what was wrong with me? It was about this time when I became particularly hard on myself that I started receiving advice and comments in how to “solve” my problem. Gain some weight, don’t drink coffee (are they nuts?!), take more vitamins, sleep more, “it will happen eventually”.

Sometimes our bodies just do not work the way we want them to and it is insanely frustrating. So, two years into trying for baby #2 my husband and I went to a fertility specialist. Apparently I’m fine and he’s fine and there is no known reason as to why we should not be able to have more children. Don’t you just love when doctors tell you that? I think I might be able to take it better if I had a reason or something to answer my question, ‘why?’

To top it off I see friends and family expanding their tribe and I am hurt that the Lord has seemingly passed me by. I do not understand and I have so many questions. Just to clarify, I am thrilled to pieces God gave me my son. Sometimes I just look at his face and I am in awe that I get to be his mom. I want to be particularly sensitive to the precious couples that battle primary infertility. My heart goes out to the woman or man who is hurting or angry. I cannot completely understand your grief, but I do get it on some level. I can sympathize with you and cry with you.

Any couple experiencing infertility whether it is primary or secondary, usually journeys through it silently. Even though this issue consumes a lot of your time, money, thoughts, and emotions you do not talk about it. Maybe it is the subject of the trial- making babies, or maybe you feel like a failure (you shouldn’t). Perhaps your heart is so tender you feel you might cry at the mention of a baby. Sometimes you just want someone to “get it”, that your heart breaks into a million pieces every time you hear another pregnancy announcement or receive a baby shower invitation. It is not that you are not happy for those folks it is just hard to swallow sometimes. Let me state that because God creates life, all of life is beautiful and resentment should not have a permanent place in your heart.

I have no doubt whatsoever Who is in control over the womb. I have seen some women struggle with infertility and have “surprise” pregnancies, ‘miracle blessing babies’ I call them. Other times women are not able to conceive. How we respond to those disappointments is crucial to our faith.

I heard a sermon recently by a guest speaker who said, “Jesus is worthy of worship at all times by all peoples.” He was speaking on missions, but if Christians really believe that Jesus is worthy of our worship at all times, even in the hard moments, then this should be our response. I never really considered that Jesus has lovingly placed secondary infertility in my life for His purpose. I know Romans 8:28 and quote it for other things and to other people, but infertility? The hard answer is yes.

Fellow sufferers, God can make beautiful things from your sorrow. He can take your desire for a baby and lead you down a path for your life otherwise impossible without this “roadblock”. Jesus is infinitely better than my hopes and dreams that I had planned. His plans are generally different than mine anyway because He can see the whole picture. I only see what is right in front of me, another negative pregnancy test. God will keep you too. He will hold your hand as you journey through this season. Trust in God’s goodness and sovereignty in those moments of sadness and frustration. He has not passed you by. The Lord may be using for you even greater things you cannot even fathom. That may include children someday. Truly, our loving and wise Father has purposed this for you to deepen your faith. Spiritual growth is richer and greater than getting what we want when we want it.

The compassionate Lord saw Hannah’s tears and heard her prayers. He set His purpose for a miraculous pregnancy through Sarah. He sought out Hagar when she was turned away from Abraham’s home, with Ishmael, in her most desperate hour. God used Esther to save a nation. He redeemed Ruth, a Moabitess. Almighty God permitted divine conception for both Elizabeth and Mary! He is a God who sees our tears and hurts. He hears our prayers. He knows our desires. He weaves His power throughout history for His glory and honor. There is purpose in your story.

So, what now? How will you respond to infertility? Friends, others are watching how you respond. They may not know the details of your situation, but hardship has a way of seeping into every aspect of our life, affecting daily living. Whether you realize it or not they are seeing if you live by faith. Maybe it is an unsaved co-worker or a new sister in Christ and they need to see you worship Jesus even when everything does not go your way. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (NIV). So even though I may not always feel like it and it can be really hard to do so, I choose to trust the Lord with this day. I choose to bow down and worship my beautiful Savior in the face of infertility.

Grace upon grace,

April

For added support and encouragement for infertility, miscarriage, or child loss a site I have found helpful is http://www.sarahs-laughter.com.

Rainy days and Mondays

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I love rainy days. We have had quite of few in the past week. My husband jokes that I must be related to Emily Dickinson, but I am certainly not morbid or gloomy. I prefer serious, quiet, and reflective. Occasionally Ms. Cranky Pants, but that is only if I have been sleep deprived (or you take my coffee). I enjoy overcast rainy days because it serves as either a peaceful background noise or reminds me of God’s awesome power. Thunderstorms especially showcase the Lord’s greatness with booms of thunder and cracks of lightning. We need the rain and strong winds to blow away all the excess grime and allow plants and trees to grow. My outside plants would die without the rain, seriously, no green thumb here. They are what we like to call “low-maintenance” foliage.

The rain is a perfect excuse to stay inside and get cozy with a cup of coffee, and a good book. (I’m just kidding I have an energetic four year old). It is ideal anyway. When it is pouring outside I am so thankful that I have a safe haven, a refuge, a shelter to run to during the storm. I am nice and dry in my home, watching the rain fall sideways as it pelts the pavement. Storms in life are essential too for our spiritual growth. It is not always fun, often interrupts our plans, and can sometimes be scary. That is when we run to our Ultimate Refuge, resting in the shadow of His wings. Ever seen a mama bird nestle her young ones under her during a rain shower? She is protecting them from outside elements, keeping those little birds warm and dry. When trials beat down and we feel as though we are drowning, Jesus reaches to pull us up. We run to our Strong Tower, resting in His strength and power.

There is peace among turbulent waters when we meditate on God’s goodness and sovereignty. What Satan uses to harm, God can use for our spiritual good. Even when Mondays roll around and you shoot out of bed like a canon ball going from zero to sixty miles per hour in 2.5 seconds. The day has begun and you already start to fall behind by 7am, unable to catch up with the demands for the day. A lot of times it feels like going around and around in a hamster wheel. You go, go, go, and then look around wondering, what exactly did I accomplish today? For the record, I am not a fan of Mondays. Stress starts mounting and it is only the beginning of the week. Once again you feel yourself drowning. The insurmountable tasks each day, failing over and over again get to be too much. But Jesus is there. He holds out His Hand for you to grab onto. Just like He helped Peter from drowning, Jesus can pull you out also. “Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’ (Matthew 14:31) The trials, the demands, and the stress are a part of life, but Jesus is with you. Have faith and ask for His help. Remember His love for you. Even thank the Lord for the hard moments because that is where spiritual growth takes place. We need the occasional torrential downpour in order to see fruit.

I find myself singing a hymn from a children’s cd that I play for Jesse in the car, because really I need the reminder too. It goes: “Count your blessings name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God has done. Count your blessings name them one by one. Count your many blessings see what God has done.” So do not let rainy days and Mondays get you down. (Bonus points if you get the reference). Find something to be thankful for even when it is hard to see. Keep practicing a grateful heart. Jesus has given us so much to thank Him for.

Grace upon grace,

April

Brave Faith

/ RedeemedInGrace / 1 Comment

photoFor a few weeks now I have been stunned and saddened by the news. Evil overwhelms us at a rapid pace and the world seems so chaotic. I have had writer’s block, trying to process my thoughts and emotions, looking to the Lord for truth. There is so much white noise coming from the media. What is happening in the world today as far as homosexual sin itself is nothing new and has been around since almost the beginning (Genesis 19:4-5; Leviticus 18:22; Romans 1:24-28). The sanctioning of gay marriage in society is what has Christians turned on our heads because we see something immoral being forced upon us.

I turned on the television Friday morning to a local news station and my heart sank as I watched less than a dozen celebrate at their LGBT headquarters over the legalization of gay marriage. I was genuinely disturbed by what I saw. It isn’t just the breakdown of society as we know it that breaks my heart, but the individuals I saw rejoicing in their sin. I saw their faces, their souls. I cried later that day for the lost. There is so much blindness and darkness it grieves me to watch it play out on a national platform.

Christians should now be responding with compassion toward those who rebel against God, and hate Him. We speak the truth in love, but also with conviction. They need the Gospel message just like everyone else, because we too were once dead in our sins. Pray for redemption, salvation by grace through belief in Jesus Christ as the Son of God. Weep over our country and how God is dishonored. The current events should not surprise us, however. Jesus warned His disciples of what life would be like in the last days:

“At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come” (Matthew 24:10-14 NIV).

The nation shakes their fists at the Savior I love and want nothing to do with Him. I heard a sermon recently that reminded me why unbelievers hate God. It comes down to authority and accountability. If you are a Christian, you know Who your authority is and Who you serve, God Almighty. We know we are held accountable for our actions, good or bad. Unbelievers are too, and it will all come to a head on Judgment Day.

The sermon was from Luke 5:17-26, when Jesus healed a man who was paralyzed. Jesus was teaching in a crowded house, and the Pharisees were there. When friends of the paralyzed man lowered him into the house from the roof right in front of Jesus the Bible says He saw their faith and said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven” (Luke 5:20 NIV). Of course this did not sit well with the Pharisees and they began thinking to themselves of his blasphemy, knowing that only God alone can forgive sins. Two things here (maybe three): The Pharisees were correct in believing that only God can forgive our sins. Also, Jesus was stirring up the waters by claiming He could forgive sins. He essentially was declaring right there that He had authority and that He was the Son of God. If Jesus were just a mere man, this would have been crazy talk. The other thing is this- Jesus knew their thoughts. He knew what was in their hard hearts and confronted them on it. The Son of God says, “Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins…” [He said to the paralyzed man,] “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home” [Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God]” (Luke 5:23-25 NIV; italics mine).

If Jesus has the authority to absolve my sin, then I have to acknowledge that I have sin to start with, and that I must answer to Him. Those who rebel against God would rather wallow in what they want and to control their own lives and answer to no one. They think this satisfies, and it might for a season. But only God alone can be our ultimate Satisfaction. Unbelievers keep seeking to fulfill the flesh without long- term success. Ultimately, this will kill because “the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23 NIV).

To the unbeliever, how long will you run from the Eternal God? Will you forever rebel in your sins? God can handle your mess and redeem it. He can take your brokenness and restore it with everlasting joy. I promise. I can say these things with full confidence because it is what He has done for me. The Lord Himself promises what He will do in His Word.

We need the Lord desperately in these last days. To the Christian, this is a call to persevere and stand firm in the faith. Believers are the heirs of salvation, friends of God, sheep of His pasture, slaves to righteousness, warriors of faith. Know what God’s Word says and hold your ground. Cling to Him. Pray. Fast. Read the Scriptures and see the work of God displayed on every page. Pray for those who colorfully parade their sin. Sincerely plead with God to save their souls before it is too late. Nothing is too hard for God. Even this legalized decision to uphold immorality is not beyond God’s control. Let our prayers rise as sweet-smelling incense before His throne. He sees. He hears. He knows.

“Has a nation ever changed its gods? (Yet they are not gods at all.) But my people have exchanged my Glory for worthless idols. Be appalled at this, O heavens, and shudder with great horror,” declares the Lord. My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water […] Consider then and realize how evil and bitter it is for you when you forsake the Lord your God and have no awe of me,” declares the Lord, the Lord Almighty” (Jeremiah 2:11-13; 19).

Grace upon grace,

April

 

 

 

moments of grace

/ RedeemedInGrace / 1 Comment

545803353There are times in my life when I have seen the Hand of the Lord specifically on me. I can look back and remember how He kept me safe. It is important for believers to take time to reflect on God’s grace in their lives. It is good when you recognize God at work, because those moments will encourage your faith. It has given me a grateful heart to know I have personally experienced the Lord’s mercy and grace.

I gave my life to Jesus when I was 7, but for most of my years I did not take my faith as seriously as I should have. In my teens especially I was rebellious and insecure. Looking back on the time I wasted, I also see how God protected me from going down a destructive path. I was like a sheep wandering away from the fold and the Good Shepherd drew me back to Himself. What mercy! What grace!

Fast-forward a few years later to when I was pregnant with Jesse. I can’t remember how many weeks along I was, like 8 or 10, when the doctor told me two things. First, the placenta had torn and I was ordered to not lift anything over 5 pounds for a few weeks to allow this to hopefully repair on it’s own. The second piece of news was that I had an ovarian cyst, 8cm to be exact. By the time I had my son the cyst increased to 10cm. The nurses were dumbfounded that I never had any pain. In fact, I did not feel it at all, but there it was on the ultrasound each and every time in all its glory. That was a moment of God’s grace. A lot of women experience pain with an ovarian cyst that is only 2cm in size. I am so thankful He allowed the cyst to remain painless, so I could enjoy my pregnancy at least through the 2nd trimester. The placenta also healed and did not harm Jesse or me.

After I delivered him he stayed in the NICU for 2 weeks. That was mid-April in 2011. On April 27, 2011 tornadoes ripped through the South. I just so happened to be visiting Jesse at the hospital that day. When the storms turned into tornado threats the hospital executed a specific code to remain on lock down. This meant that no one was allowed to leave the building until further notice. NICU nurses frantically pushed teeny tiny little babies in their carts with all of their wires attached, to the center of the unit. They tried to keep everyone away from the windows. In the middle of the commotion with lights flickering on and off, alarms wailing in the hospital, and tornado sirens, I managed to find the head nurse. I asked her if I could please just hold my baby for his safety. She quickly agreed and then kept marching forward focusing on her job of protecting the precious little ones.

I remember thanking God that I was with Jesse, holding him through his first tornado. I also prayed for the parents who were not with their babies at that moment and the sheer panic they must have felt. I also thought about the nurses, who were not allowed to leave, possibly worrying about children at home, spouses, or parents. It was chaos.

I had to leave Jesse later that night after the weather calmed down, driving though a city and to a home all without power. But God was with me the whole time. Even when I held Jesse in the middle of the NICU I had a sense of calm. I kept praying as everyone waited in uncertainty of the tornado’s path, and had an unexplainable peace. This was God’s grace. I am usually a worrier and control freak, so to be so serene was quite a different approach.

The next day Jesse had his MRI. The hospital ran on generators, as the rest of the city remained shut down. The cysts on his brain were no longer there and he was released from the hospital. (See the full story about his cysts in The Healer). Finally. The only problem was that being a new mom, I had to take my newborn baby fresh out of the NICU to a house without power.

By God’s grace He sent us help through my mother-in-law, Charolette. She was in town visiting us and received word that her area had power. My mother-in-law lives over 2 hours from Huntsville and we had less than half a tank of gas. Lesson learned: Never leave your tank under the half mark in case of a tornado and you have to run for the hills! We made it to her house on gas fumes, again thanking God for His protection and indescribable grace in keeping us safe. My husband’s parents allowed us to stay with them for 5 days until the power was restored in our city. I don’t know if I ever told Charolette, but I am so grateful for her help and service to us during that time. I was an emotional wreck, and needed help with taking care of a new baby. She was there for me, an instrument of God’s grace.

What are some of the moments in your life that you distinctly remember the Lord’s provision or protection? His grace is all over us, we just need to take time to notice and then thank Him. The very fact that you and I are even breathing right now is by God’s grace. Every day you wake up and every night when you go to bed is a testimony of His grace on your life. He keeps you. He upholds you in the middle of a storm. He loves you with an everlasting love. Never forget that. For the unbeliever there is common grace, yet for the child of God His gifts are so much deeper and richer! It is like an unbeliever receives just a taste of God’s goodness, but for His sheep the dam breaks wide open. I’d love to hear how the Lord has specifically worked in your life. Look for His Presence.

Grace upon grace,

April

Ordinary but Extraordinary

/ RedeemedInGrace / 3 Comments

553241169I love summer. I didn’t always love it though. Here in the South, Alabama heat can get down right unbearable. I have always been a fair weather kind of girl, enjoying spring and fall best, but this summer is different. Jesse finished his first full year of school, so now I’m cherishing these moments at home more. The house is a little messier, but there are more afternoons to cuddle. I’m exhausted by the end of the day, but my heart is full of happy and funny moments.

These “lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer” can sometimes be way too long, but then I remember that the years are even shorter. In our house a typical summer day consists of something fun to do in the mornings, sleepy afternoons, and evenings either playing outside after the day finally cools down, or Jason and Jesse rough housing in the living room. I smile to myself, hearing their laughter as I put dinner away and wash the dishes in the kitchen. I lean over the counter responding to Jesse’s “Mom!” which means, “Look at me!” Jason has Jesse “flying” and I have to watch every single time. I don’t get tired of it. I actually want time to slow down and enjoy my two blessings as much as possible.

Our family has already gone to the beach this year, which was glorious. It was a needed break from everything. Most days around here since we have been home from the beach are wonderful, but also very ordinary. What I mean is, washing the dishes, laundry, diaper changing, cooking dinners, and making the bed day after day seems very monotonous and mundane. A week or two out of the year is a beach vacation, but most of life is not. Daily living is wiping runny noses, going to the grocery store, nap time, saying ‘no’ to cookies for breakfast, and cleaning the toilet. It is not glamorous, but it can be holy. It is holy work if the attitude of your heart reflects a willing servant like Jesus.

Jesus washed his disciples’ dirty, stinky feet, one of the lowliest jobs in His day. He did this right before He gave His life for them and us. Jesus’ act of feet washing was holy. It was worship. It was something that needed to be done and was performed each time a guest entered a home. It was ordinary. So what made His action any different? Jesus displayed humility, the life of the ultimate servant while on earth by putting others before Himself. He fed. He healed. He taught. He saved.

Philippians 2:5-11 showcases Christ’s humility and how we are to live accordingly. Philippians 2:5 simply states, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” (NIV). I just love it. This is a high calling. The work we do each day can be used to worship the Lord. It is ordinary living with an extraordinary purpose. Sometimes I think, “I’m just a homemaker, a stay-at-home mom.” The world loves to tell us that this kind of job is throwing your life away. But God shows me the beauty and purpose of it all. My kingdom work for right now is raising a little one to know and love Jesus. Mothers in particular can have great influence on the spiritual lives of their children. Paul commends Timothy’s grandmother and mother, Lois and Eunice, for their faith, which they taught Timothy (2 Timothy 1:5). Susanna Wesley is known as the Mother of Methodism, because of the example she set for her children, in particular John and Charles Wesley who founded the Methodist church. It is said of Susanna that “…although she never preached a sermon or published a book or founded a church, (she) is known as the Mother of Methodism. Why? Because two of her sons, John Wesley and Charles Wesley, as children consciously or unconsciously will, applied the example and teachings and circumstances of their home life” (Susan Pellowe, Susanna Wesley Biography).

Most of us will never be “the next big thing” with our name in lights over Broadway, or a recognizable face as an athlete or on the silver screen. It is not about us anyway. If we stop pursuing a self-important mindset and embrace our common calling, I think we will be a lot more content. God has purposed you to live in the 21st century, in whatever town you call home, at whatever job you are employed in. An engineer, teacher, janitor, CEO, barista, homemaker, pastor, and doctor can all be used for God’s glory doing His work to bless His Kingdom. Paul alludes to this in speaking to the Athenians:

“From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us” (Acts 17:26-27).

Michael Horton wrote a book called ‘Ordinary’ which after I listened to it via Audible, I wanted to shout in agreement, ‘Yes!’ He argues that sometimes in the Church there is the notion that missionaries who dedicate their lives to serve in Africa are the Christian elite. Their work is definitely more visible than me making scrambled eggs this morning for my son. But what if the heart of the missionary is not humble, and there is some measure of self-glorification rather than glorifying our King? I say this hypothetically, and hopefully this is not the case at all. Most people will not see the work you or I do in the name of Jesus, and that is okay. God sees you. He knows your heart.

In the body of believers we all have different gifts and functions, so if the Lord calls you to serve in a remote 3rd world country, praise God! If He calls you to stay in the States that is wonderful too and by no means less significant. Your mission field is right where He has placed you. It is among your neighbors, co-workers, friends and family. 1 Corinthians 12:4-31 shows us that workers are needed everywhere with varying abilities, even if to the world, or perhaps yourself, your work seems pointless and mundane, it does not have to be. Horton writes, “Even our common callings in the world are not really our own, but they are God’s work of supplying others- including ourselves- with what the whole society needs. There is a lot of work to be done, but it is his work that he is doing through us in daily and mostly ordinary ways” (Ordinary).

I live a simple, fairly quiet, ordinary life, but it is not a wasted life. I desire to live it out everyday pursuing Christ as He pursues me, and allow the Spirit to be the overflow of my heart in words, thoughts, and actions. In the heart of Huntsville, I want to be Jesus’ hands and feet, washing the stinky feet. This is ordinary work with an extraordinary purpose.

Grace upon grace,

April