Family | redeemed in grace

“ ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’ He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!’ Then he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.’ ” (Revelation 21:4-5 NIV)

I have seen the undercover videos that expose Planned Parenthood for what it truly is. I have seen with my own eyes the mutilated flesh of an infant, 18-20 weeks alive in the womb, a twin actually. I saw a tiny clenched fist and two little legs in the pile as the medical assistant sifted through the remains of “sellable” organs. I watched, speechless, heart in throat, feeling like I might vomit as I processed in my mind the barbaric reality. Abortion has been legal in the U.S. since 1973 and as a result, millions of children murdered. Somehow though, seeing it with my own eyes, hearing the crunch of a skull as examiners attempt to retrieve the brain “intact”, strikes directly at my heart and conscience. I can never un-see those things and now, I can never walk in ignorance either. I didn’t even watch the videos all the way through because it was all so disturbing. I have a pretty vivid imagination that can guess how the rest of it played out.

Eighteenth century abolitionist and poet Hannah More said, “It should be held as an eternal truth, that what is morally wrong can never be politically right” (Fierce Convictions, Karen Swallow Prior). She was referring to slave trade but the same holds true for abortion. It is another form of human trafficking, which makes a profit off of body parts. It celebrates the degradation of human life and dignity.

When it feels like Satan is winning it is easy for the Christian to become discouraged. What is abominable and wicked is deemed acceptable and normal. They nod their heads ‘yes’ in casual agreement over Mexican food and a glass of wine, business as usual. They cannot see the blood on their hands. What are we to do? How can we be a voice for the voiceless when we feel so helpless?

2 Chronicles 20 recounts the time when King Jehoshaphat was informed that the Moabites and Ammonites were on the march to make war with Judah. Faced with this sudden attack Jehoshaphat did the only thing he knew to do in his time of need. The Bible records he “resolved to inquire of the Lord, and he proclaimed a fast for all Judah. The people of Judah came together to seek help from the Lord; indeed, they came from every town in Judah to seek Him” (2 Chronicles 20:3-4 NIV). Jehoshaphat prayed for Judah, pleading with Jehovah, “O our God, will You not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon You” (2 Chronicles 20:12 NIV; italics mine).

I think this is one of the most transparent and humble prayers coming from a king. Jehoshaphat knew Who was in control and sought the Lord’s favor and guidance. The Scriptures also say that all of the rest of Judah, men, women, and children stood there before the Lord. They were united in One Hope. We need that in 2015. When the enemy attacks and the violence is relentless do we seek the Father’s help? How are we responding? Pray. Yes, pray fervently. Is the Lord asking you to become bold in stepping out and speaking up? Are you called to serve an organization that promotes life? Each Christian has unique gifts and special callings. We are only to obey. Be brave. Even if right now the way you stand against abortion is to choose to have your child. Raise your babies to fear and love the Lord. Teach them to be Christ-like.

Our Matchless King demonstrated His power to Judah and king Jehoshaphat. The rest of 2 Chronicles 20 says that God spoke words of encouragement to them. The Lord said: “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s”(20:15 NIV). God has the ultimate victory. He will fight for us when we are limp and can barely hold up our shields. The Lord told the people of Judah: “You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you’” (20:17 NIV). He calls us to have courage, be strong, and trust in Him. It means we are not alone and therefore do not act alone. When we are obedient to look to Him, and stand in truth, He will allow His power to work through us and change the world, little by little. We have the privilege to be the Potter’s instruments.

When it feels like Satan is winning we can hold fast to the truth that Adonai is on His throne. When it feels like Satan is winning we can look to that Day when the Perfect Judge executes perfect justice. When it feels like Satan is winning we can cling to the knowledge that God has already won. He is Jehovah-Nissi, ‘The Lord is My Banner’. You see, we as Christians can look forward to the promises of God when all is made new, restored, perfected and glorified. One day. Will be. Future tense. Sin and this world will pass away someday. The lives of these precious children who never had the chance to live will not have been taken in vain. No, God sees the sewage of sin, the stench reaching to His nostrils. When we feel helpless as Christians we can humbly cry out to the Lord like Judah’s ancient king and say, “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.”

Grace upon grace,

April

To watch the Undercover Planned Parenthood videos go to: http://www.theblaze.com

For further information on supporting life and adoption go to: http://www.choose-life.org

So what do you do when the dreams you had planned for your life are dashed? What do you do when the life you envisioned for yourself does not come to fruition? For me, part of my disappointment has been secondary infertility. This means that I have one child, conceived without any problem, but for some reason the second time around my body has not cooperated. It is like the factory shut down and my body stopped doing a very natural thing women were created to do- have children.

My husband and I wanted more children, siblings for our son who is now four. We wanted kids close in age, so when our son Jesse, was nine months old we hoped it would not be long before he had a brother or sister. I think the first year I was in denial that there was a problem. I mean the women in my family have never had any issues in being able to conceive. I come from hearty stock, I thought. Then as the months passed by, turning into years I began to wonder what was wrong with me? It was about this time when I became particularly hard on myself that I started receiving advice and comments in how to “solve” my problem. Gain some weight, don’t drink coffee (are they nuts?!), take more vitamins, sleep more, “it will happen eventually”.

Sometimes our bodies just do not work the way we want them to and it is insanely frustrating. So, two years into trying for baby #2 my husband and I went to a fertility specialist. Apparently I’m fine and he’s fine and there is no known reason as to why we should not be able to have more children. Don’t you just love when doctors tell you that? I think I might be able to take it better if I had a reason or something to answer my question, ‘why?’

To top it off I see friends and family expanding their tribe and I am hurt that the Lord has seemingly passed me by. I do not understand and I have so many questions. Just to clarify, I am thrilled to pieces God gave me my son. Sometimes I just look at his face and I am in awe that I get to be his mom. I want to be particularly sensitive to the precious couples that battle primary infertility. My heart goes out to the woman or man who is hurting or angry. I cannot completely understand your grief, but I do get it on some level. I can sympathize with you and cry with you.

Any couple experiencing infertility whether it is primary or secondary, usually journeys through it silently. Even though this issue consumes a lot of your time, money, thoughts, and emotions you do not talk about it. Maybe it is the subject of the trial- making babies, or maybe you feel like a failure (you shouldn’t). Perhaps your heart is so tender you feel you might cry at the mention of a baby. Sometimes you just want someone to “get it”, that your heart breaks into a million pieces every time you hear another pregnancy announcement or receive a baby shower invitation. It is not that you are not happy for those folks it is just hard to swallow sometimes. Let me state that because God creates life, all of life is beautiful and resentment should not have a permanent place in your heart.

I have no doubt whatsoever Who is in control over the womb. I have seen some women struggle with primary infertility and have fertility treatments work. Later on, those same women have “surprise” pregnancies, ‘miracle blessing babies’ I call them. Other times treatments fail to respond. How we respond to those disappointments is crucial to our faith.

I heard a sermon recently by a guest speaker who said, “Jesus is worthy of worship at all times by all peoples.” He was speaking on missions, but if Christians really believe that Jesus is worthy of our worship at all times, even in the hard moments, then this should be our response. I never really considered that Jesus has lovingly placed secondary infertility in my life for His purpose. I know Romans 8:28 and quote it for other things and to other people, but infertility? The hard answer is yes.

Fellow sufferers, God can make beautiful things from your sorrow. He can take your desire for a baby and lead you down a path for your life otherwise impossible without this “roadblock”. Jesus is infinitely better than my hopes and dreams that I had planned. His plans are generally different than mine anyway because He can see the whole picture. I only see what is right in front of me, another failed month with fertility treatment, and another negative pregnancy test. God will keep you too. He will hold your hand as you journey through this season. Trust in God’s goodness and sovereignty in those moments of sadness and frustration. He has not passed you by. The Lord may be using for you even greater things you cannot even fathom. That may include children someday. Truly, our loving and wise Father has purposed this for you to deepen your faith. Spiritual growth is richer and greater than getting what we want when we want it.

The compassionate Lord saw Hannah’s tears and heard her prayers. He set His purpose for a miraculous pregnancy through Sarah. He sought out Hagar when she was turned away from Abraham’s home, with Ishmael, in her most desperate hour. God used Esther to save a nation. He redeemed Ruth, a Moabitess. Almighty God permitted divine conception for both Elizabeth and Mary! He is a God who sees our tears and hurts. He hears our prayers. He knows our desires. He weaves His power throughout history for His glory and honor. There is purpose in your story.

So, what now? How will you respond to infertility? Friends, others are watching how you respond. They may not know the details of your situation, but hardship has a way of seeping into every aspect of our life, affecting daily living. Whether you realize it or not they are seeing if you live by faith. Maybe it is an unsaved co-worker or a new sister in Christ and they need to see you worship Jesus even when everything does not go your way. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (NIV). So even though I may not always feel like it and it can be really hard to do so, I choose to trust the Lord with this day. I choose to bow down and worship my beautiful Savior in the face of infertility.

Grace upon grace,

April

For added support and encouragement for infertility, miscarriage, or child loss a site I have found helpful is http://www.sarahs-laughter.com.

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