“Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” -Romans 10:17

When my son was seven or eight he began sitting with me and my husband in worship service at church. Generally children starting at age five sit with their parents, but with his autism and developmental delay, the leaders graciously allowed my son to stay with the younger children a little longer. I learned a lot as Jesse participated in church with me and my husband. The first few years were quite bumpy and I know I was discouraged plenty of times. It is a learned skill for anyone to sit still in church, but especially for those given to hand flapping, involuntary noises and overall fidgeting. I quickly learned to pack his backpack the night before with books and quiet toys to keep his hands busy.

I remember taking him out of the sanctuary often because it was too much for him and a distraction for others. We would go to an unused quiet room where I could still hear the sermon and Jesse had more freedom to get the wiggles out. Still, we trained him, because my husband and I wanted to sit together as a family one day in church without interruption. But we were also cognizant of our fellow church members who showed us immense grace. It was their worship time too and we in turn wanted to demonstrate courtesy as they listened to the sermon, seeking to feed their souls.

As we have recently visited other churches it came as a shock to realize that this is not a courtesy all parents with younger children share. Perhaps because we have worked hard to get our son not to disturb others in church for years, it is disappointing to witness parents who have not considered their church family when meeting for worship. It becomes an issue of treating others the way you want to be treated.

By the end of the week my soul needs tending through the preached word. The preached word is a special means of grace which should not be taken lightly. It is a command for believers to frequently meet together (Hebrews 10:25) and sit under the preached word of God. But how can one receive this ministry if the competing sounds during a sermon are constant chatter, whining or crying? It is not beyond Satan to use adorable children as tools for distraction. Inaction to take children out who are causing a scene is disrespectful to the pastor who labors in preparing the sermon, inconsiderate to those trying to listen, but most importantly, irreverent to God. The consistent disruptive behavior in the middle of worship does not honor Him.

Most churches have a crying room, a nursing mother’s room or even an empty Sunday school room where parents can take their children and attend to their needs. It may be for a few months or years a parent will need to take their children out of service as they train them. This is a necessary training period which does require parental sacrifice to sometimes miss sitting in corporate worship. The good news is it does not last forever, and if done right, they will one day enjoy worshipping together as a family. But young parents are not doing any favors for their children by overlooking disruptive behavior. Who will teach them if the Christian parent refuses?

The grace that is extended to parents with young ones should also be reciprocated by showing like courtesy to those in corporate worship. If no one can hear the message because a child is too loud, then what is the point of attending church? There may be someone who needs to hear the gospel for the first time or a struggling believer who needs to be reminded that Christ died for their sins. If church leaders turn a blind eye to this lack of reverence they are not properly defending their sheep. Do they think they are more merciful than God by allowing consistently disruptive behavior to continue? Church worship then becomes nothing more than a show.

What if an older woman in the church gently pulled the young mother aside? I imagine a scene where the older embraces the worn out mom in a hug, because she’s been there too, knee-deep in motherhood. The seasoned mother perhaps encourages the younger by telling her how wonderful it is that she and her husband desire not only to come to church, but participate in corporate worship as a family. This is to be commended. Older women in the faith can also communicate that while children are a blessing, sometimes it can be hard to hear the sermon when they are too loud. They can gently suggest she use the empty crying room when it is too much for the children to sit quietly.

All truth must come from love when spoken, no matter how difficult or awkward. Seasoned with grace, even uncomfortable confrontations can be peaceable. This calls for courage and discernment from the older in the faith, but it is a command given to them to teach the younger women (Titus 2:3-5), whether it is well received or not. Likewise, an elder can address the young father and counsel him in matters of child training (Titus 2:6-8). This is how the local church is to operate practically, which honors the Lord and preserves the purity of worshipping together joyfully!

We serve a holy God who is worthy of our worship and full attention when we gather together as a body of believers. His grace was lavished on rebellious sinners like you and me, His mercy rich toward dead souls- does not the Lord God deserve our reverence in worship?

“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire.” -Hebrews 12:28-29

1 Samuel 12:24; 1 Timothy 3:14-15; 1 Timothy 4:12-16; Proverbs 22:6

Grace upon grace,

April