“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.” -Proverbs 25:20

I’ve been thinking about this quote from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. He was a famous American poet, the most popular in his day and still considered one of the greats. But his life was filled with tragedy. His first wife died after a few short years through a miscarriage. Longfellow’s second wife died from burns she received when her dress caught fire. He was unable to write for a time after her death, devastated from the loss.

Most of us have no idea the struggles another is facing. Maybe our lives are so busy that we hardly stop to notice others and get to know the people around us. The sin of assumption is easier than the work of emotionally navigating relationships. It can be awkward, requiring a lot of patience and persistence. The grumpy cashier, an overbearing boss, a distant family member or a chronically depressed friend- compassion over condemnation is the desire of every hurting heart. How would I want to be treated when I’m a mess? How would Jesus respond? Some exteriors are harder than others because of past wounds perhaps. Jaded, those walls go up out of self preservation. It isn’t the Biblical solution, but easier to understand broken people (which we all are), once we realize this mode of survival.

In reading the Gospels I have noticed how incredibly patient Jesus is with the disciples. He doesn’t write them off when they don’t understand a parable, lack faith, or sin. The Lord Jesus is also compassionate toward the needy crowds. They wanted His time, His teaching, His miracles- it was never enough. Jesus’ heart went out to them because He saw they were like sheep without a shepherd. The Lord rebuked the religious leaders because He knew their thoughts and hardened hearts, yet even in this He restrained His hand. Jesus chose not to annihilate them on the spot, but dispensed mercy instead.

The Gospels highlight how complicated we are in our emotions, experiences and limited understanding. But the need is very simple. Every person longs to be seen, loved, accepted and understood. The only one to perfectly fill this demanding task is Christ Jesus. Once we belong to Him, He tells us to go be like Him to the hurting world. One way we can do this is to think the best of others instead of assuming their thoughts and motives for the worse. A gracious spirit can circumvent a whole hosts of relational difficulties. Even if a person is hard hearted, we know no one is beyond the Great Physician’s reach, not while they still have breath. This is the Age of Grace, which Christ commands us to imitate. Pray for those who reject you, who are unkind, or you sense need more encouragement.

God tells us not only to love those who are happy and easy to get along with, but the chronically downcast, the rude, the ones who annoy, revile, gossip, snub or persecute you. Jesus told Peter to forgive again and again (Matthew 18:21-22). It pleases the Lord when we notice the overlooked and love them with a smile or kind word. God desires for us to be merciful and forgiving rather than act like a Pharisee in outward worship. Patient and prayerful. Even if the one with a heavy heart or vindictive spirit never changes, the Lord is changing you by how you respond. Grace overlooks the thoughtless comment and learns not to take everything personally. More often than not there is something else troubling them that has nothing to do with you.

Jesus loved without condition. He saw people as they longed to be truly seen, like they actually mattered. This is the Christian’s template. It is only through the Spirit’s power we can supernaturally act against our human response to avoid and back away. So we learn to pray for His power to work through us, displaying the love of Christ to a hurting loved one, friend, or acquaintance. Our sphere of influence is the broken world Jesus commands His people to love.

Grace upon grace,

April

Growing deeper: 1 Thessalonians 5:14-15; Luke 6:27-38