Missional Motherhood

This is a piece I wrote a few years ago. A gentleman in my church asked a group of mothers to contribute to his booklet on the spiritual role a mother has to her children. 

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Becoming a mom is not what I thought it would be. Before I actually had a child of my own, I was sure I already knew how I would parent. I started babysitting when I was 12 and even though the job was tiring, it didn’t demand superhuman strength either. I prided myself on my ‘Mary Poppins’ persona.

Then after Jason and I had been married for over a year, God gave us our son Jesse. This sweet boy has been the hardest and greatest adventure yet. Even the pregnancy was filled with plot twists and turns, as Jesse’s state of health became more of a question instead of a certainty. Later on we were faced with his genetic abnormality and developmental delays. Broken sleep, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, neurology appointments, geneticist appointments, and can you please walk by your 2nd birthday little boy?

I used to think missionary service required traveling overseas to share the Gospel. However, the longer I’m a parent it is clear that right where I am is my missional work. It’s not the romanticized version I imagined. But it is just as important and humbling.

The job of every Christian mom is physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually draining. God is using motherhood as a means for my sanctification. It isn’t glamorous, but this can be eternal work when done in faith. Who is it I’m representing to my son? Christ? or myself?

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Parenting well requires dying to self daily, viewing our jobs as service to the Lord. The times I struggle are the days when I see my son’s sin nature more clearly and my own as well. That’s why Jesus gives us Himself, the Holy Spirit to help and guide when I have no clue what I’m doing, or come to the end of myself.

Our children, especially when they’re young, are our mission field. We train and make disciples right in our homes. Don’t underestimate the work you do. Can it be monotonous? Yep. But that can also be called faithfulness. Day in, day out, you’re showing up.

I don’t think I’m overstating how essential the role of parents are to our children. We raise them in faith instilling Biblical truth, a love for Christ, so that one day Lord willing, they grow up and multiply the fruit we’ve labored over for years.

A mother’s work is kingdom work.

God gives your ordinary tasks purpose.

Jesus humbled Himself to the most demeaning job in His culture, right before He went to the cross for us. During the Passover meal the Lord washed the disciples’ mud-caked, dirty, dusty feet. This job was always reserved for a Gentile slave, because not even a Jew would stoop so low. But Jesus’ act of service was a demonstration of His sacrificial love for them. You could say it foreshadowed what was to come on Calvary.

Christ was teaching His disciples that to become great one must be brought low. Even when it requires performing a mundane task or something beneath your skill level. He was implementing the upside kingdom effect.

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As we view our lives in light of His, let us remember that our humble work isn’t overlooked by Jesus. In fact, I think it pleases Him. We may not have a platform for thousands to see and applaud us, but all that really matters anyway is our audience to One.

Am I using my gifts, time, and abilities to mother well? Do I rely on His strength and not my own? Make no mistake that the eternal rewards for every faithful mother will far outweigh the lack of praise and attention here on earth. A woman who understands this knows her worth is in Christ. He goes before us, allowing us to carry out the call of missional motherhood.

Grace upon grace,

April

Disappointment and Hope

An older woman with children grown sat in my living room listening to me pour my heart out. I listed specifics of disappointment I struggle with but it probably sounded more like a child whining. We didn’t know each other, not well anyway, having just met face-to-face for the first time that day. But she was recommended by a trusted mentor as someone who could listen and give counsel. I didn’t hold back, and after quietly listening letting me vent all my frustrations, she wisely directed me to the book of Job.

Here was a man who lost everything. His servants, wealth, all of his children, livestock, and income were gone. Then he was stricken with boils all over his body as the last blow. His wife and friends didn’t provide much help either, urging him to curse God and die, or confess some hidden sin he must have for God to permit all of this.

Job had no answers and he found no comfort.

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The last few chapters in Job are some of the most powerful words recorded in the Bible. The Lord decides to speak directly to Job, asking rhetorical questions reminding him (and us) Who is in control of the universe.

God basically tells Job that since He is all-wise and all-powerful, who is he to question the Lord?

My thoughts are so limited, my understanding as vast as the present day. I don’t know what will even happen beyond the end of this sentence. Not really. We learn from past history but God was actually there. Not only that, but He has laid out the future as well. He is there too.

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So this godly lady sitting on my couch pointed me to Job’s story to help me remember God’s Sovereignty and Greatness. Just like Job, our lives are one of many stories weaved into History. It’s not that our lives are meaningless, but in comparison to the Lord’s omnipotence who am I to stamp my foot and say “life isn’t fair”? If I know He loves me fiercely enough to send Jesus to die for my sins then can’t I rest in His wisdom for the rest of my life too?

The continued disappointment of infertility sometimes stings. I think I have a handle on it then there’s another pregnancy announcement or baby shower invitation. It’s like throwing cold water over my head. I’m stunned by the swell of emotions that come from a deep place inside me of something lost- something that never was.

Resentment isn’t far behind if I don’t quickly put a lid on the explosion of feelings. So I asked this woman what do I do when this happens? When I’m side-swiped by my own heart?

She encouraged me to go to the greatness of God when I feel jealous, hurt, left out, over a heart desire unfulfilled. That’s why we looked at Job. It is one of the best places to see the Transcendence, Sovereignty, and Wisdom of God. Only God is big enough to fill the gaping hole in our hearts.

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If I am not given more babies then He will give me more of Himself by helping me understand that only Jesus satisfies the longings of my soul. I may not understand why I have infertility or why God chose me and Jason to have a special needs son. These are worlds I never expected to enter, but here we are.

When we ache over unfulfilled dreams, we can always look to Christ. God proves Himself over and over to us even though He doesn’t have to. As we remember His past faithfulness, His present goodness, and future graces, well, these are gifts to cling tightly to. His love for us is still true, meeting us in the pain. Our Father gives us our Hope in the middle of Disappointment.

There is a song by Lauren Daigle that speaks directly to trusting God when life doesn’t turn out like you expect. I hope you are ministered to today in whatever loss or dream you’re still waiting on.

 

Grace upon grace,

April