Grace

Grace in Trials

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Sometimes in the heavy life stuff or even the drudgery of rainy Monday stuff we long to see grace in the midst of it. Like longing for water in the desert, so we need to be sustained in the hard moments. This is a prayer from The Valley of Vision that is helpful to me right now and maybe it is for you too.

Whatever your struggle, know that your response has the potential to become valuable fruit for Jesus. The Lord says He prunes the branches that bear fruit so that they will bear even more fruit. Pruning is a painful, uncomfortable process, and if I’m honest I’d rather escape from my skin to avoid it. But life is messy and hard and trials are inevitable. The good news for believers is that we have a Hope that does not fail us. Perseverance produces character, and through character, an everlasting hope. Thinking of you all today and praying that your trials are not in vain, but will somehow serve the Lord and will turn out for your good. May you receive grace upon grace today.

-April

Grace in Trials

Father of mercies,

Hear me for Jesus’ sake.

I am sinful even in my closest walk

with thee;

it is of thy mercy I died not long ago;

 

Thy grace has given me faith in the cross

by which thou hast reconciled thyself to me

and me to thee,

drawing me by thy great love,

reckoning me as innocent in Christ though

guilty in myself.

 

Giver of all graces,

I look to thee for strength to maintain them in me,

for it is hard to practice what I believe.

 

Strengthen me against temptations.

My heart is an unexhausted fountain of sin,

a river of corruption since childhood days,

flowing on in every pattern of behavior;

 

Thou hast disarmed me of the means

in which I trusted,

and I have no strength but in thee.

Thou alone canst hold back my evil ways,

but without they grace to sustain me I fall.

 

Satan’s darts quickly inflame me,

and the shield that should quench them

easily drops from my hand:

Empower me against his wiles and assaults.

 

Keep me sensible of my weakness,

and of my dependence upon thy strength.

Let every trial teach me more of thy peace,

more of thy love.

 

Thy Holy Spirit is given to increase thy graces,

and I cannot preserve or improve them

unless he works continually in me.

 

May he confirm my trust in thy promised help,

and let me walk humbly in dependence upon thee,

for Jesus’ sake.

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vision of joy

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(Matthew 20:29-34)

The two blind men wanted their sight, Bartimaeus and an unnamed man. Don’t we all want to see? Need to? In blindness we run after gods made out of stone, not even thinking about the God Man who became flesh like us. Jesus restored their sight that day. He gave them the gift of human sight, but more importantly, faith sight. It isn’t until Jesus touches our eyes that we are healed too. Our soul eyes need to be opened before we realize the need for a Savior.

“I once was blind, but now I see” as the old hymn goes. Even with the gift of sight we sometimes decide to take off those glasses. Because at least for now while we reside on earth, our glasses serve as a spiritual tool for better vision. I think those should be included in the armor of God. We at times need to be reminded to keep them on so we don’t wander off blindly, hands outstretched, searching, grasping air. When we remember to put the glasses on and gaze into the Word of God, we see with intention. We go joy hunting through His Word, which gives us breath and life. We learn, over and over again to follow Him through the valleys and peaks of life.

We follow Jesus until our dying breath living out His will, in His strength. And after death we still live in His presence forever and ever- Joy made flesh and sight and solid. What a sweet healing for our eyes. What restoration! How vital to really, clearly see in 20/20 spiritual vision, crystal clear in heaven.

These two men knew the power of Christ. Not only that, they understood His divine identity before they could even see. God was working on their spiritual eyes before He healed the physical. Because eyes to see the mystery of Christ is more critical than the ability to see anything this world has to offer. They followed Him with joy after Jesus healed them because they knew. The blind men had faith in His uncontainable power, His compassion for those without sight to see Saving Grace.

To see God fully is what every Christian longs for. The Spirit acts as the eyes of our hearts. The Lord tears down the blindspots we put up and replaces it with grace to see in spiritual technicolor. This is the truest reality, the one in which you and I cannot yet vividly grasp. Our world now is smoke and mirrors, which will soon burn away and shrivel up. It isn’t really real. We can touch it, see, taste, hear, and smell these good gifts but something greater, more real than where we are now awaits.

Thank You El Roi for the glimpses of the far better and not yet. Thank You for loving us so fully and completely.

Thank You, Father that You are “the God who sees”. We desire to be seen, noticed, cared for, understood. You tell us to “cast all our cares on You” – help us to see as You see things, with holy eyes.

Let us learn to see the everyday graces, to trust You in everything. We just might find ourselves surprised by joy.

Grace upon grace,

April

Go Deeper:  Mark 10:46-52; Luke 18:35-43

the thief of joy

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“Comparison is the thief of joy” -Theodore Roosevelt 

A couple of years ago I signed up for a casual one-time painting class where I was going to have a masterpiece by the time it was over. That was the sales pitch anyway. Three hours later, as other women snapped pictures of themselves with their artwork, giddy and content from unleashing their inner Van Gogh, I thought mine looked more like an abstract Picasso picture. Clearly a three-year-old year could have painted mine. I just didn’t like how it turned out. The hilarious part was I kept attending these painting classes over and over again determined to find my creative side. I can only compare it to hitting one’s head against a brick wall, expecting a different result other than getting a huge goose egg and a deficit in my bank account.

This is supposed to be relaxing, I thought. Instead my perfectionist side breaks out and I get tense. I partly blame being left-handed. Every time I tried to paint my hand would drag through the fresh strokes leaving smudges, with a side of frustration. My downfall came when I looked at the other paintings during the class. Some women totally ignored the instructor’s elementary-style teaching and free handed the entire thing. They would finish way ahead of the class and their paintings were something for others to “ooh” and “ahh” at. I was dumbfounded.

After six or seven attempts I finally resigned, accepting the fact that I am not very artistic. I could have probably enjoyed the painting classes regardless of my skill level. The problem arose when I began comparing my artwork to someone else’s. Looking back I see how ridiculous this was and robbed myself of a lot of fun. If only I had kept my eyes on my own paper and chilled out.

Comparison is a dangerous game. Sometimes we do it almost automatically because in our flesh there is a desire to be superior, better than, and important. If we don’t guard our thoughts, hiding ourselves in Christ, we can forget our identity and worth in Him. We cannot be at rest or secure in who God made us to be when we compete with one another. Comparing ourselves leads to envy and discontentment. A stubborn, bitter root will start to grow if not quickly uprooted. We begin to believe we have nothing to offer because someone else does it better than you. The truth is that our value is not determined by another, or even by our own standards. Jesus demonstrated our worth when He died on the cross for our sins.

It is easy to get caught up in using the measuring stick against one another. He is a better Christian than me; She is more successful because she has a career outside the home; I am a better mom because I stay at home. The list can go on and on and around in circles. What essentially happens is that we step on others going up the ladder as we to try to make ourselves little gods. We start setting value on others as more or less than us, instead of seeing each other as the work of our Creator.

But when we celebrate the gifts and abilities God gave each of us, we turn our hearts toward Him in worship. This is practicing a grateful heart with joy. Weeding out the ‘haves’ and ‘have not’s’ allows us to better connect with others if we are not comparing ourselves. How boring would it be if all of our paintings looked EXACTLY the same? If we had the same gifts we could not serve one another and function like the body of Christ.

The work of your hands or contribution in society does not judge your worth because if you are in Christ, your identity in Jesus Christ is already enough. We can bravely just be who He created us to be and live and serve with purpose. Christian, when you feel that temptation to validate yourself to another, trust that you are enough to the Lord because He is enough in you.

Grace upon grace,

April

There is Grace

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511939471         Saturday was a national day of protest against Planned Parenthood in light of the atrocities many have seen from the undercover videos released. I attended the one in my city and for the most part it was a peaceful demonstration for those who were there to defend the defenseless. There were a handful of pro-abortion supporters who came to deter us and drown out speeches, prayer, and hymn singing with shouting and loud music. Ironically their music blasted lyrics degrading women. I saw their hostility and ugly signs and then it hit me. My heart breaks over the murder of unborn babies, but also for them. I cried behind my sunglasses seeing their anger, ultimately their hatred of God. Whispering prayers aloud (probably looking a little crazy), pleading with God to have mercy on their souls, to soften hearts, to save them, and break the heavy chains of unbelief. If only they knew the freedom Jesus gives.

We all need the life redeeming, death crushing, soul saving, beautiful Gospel message of Jesus Christ. He is the One who rescues a condemned soul from the gates of Hell. Christians cannot change the mind of a pro-abortionist until our Savior changes their heart. Only He has the power to do that. I realized then that it is not an “us versus them” mentality. It is not strictly about who wins the argument more than it is about believers speaking truth into the heart of the hardened when opportunity arises. Speaking words of wisdom and love, acting in kindness.

Grace and love are two of my favorite words because of Who and what they represent. If I am to be like Christ then I must practice these actions to others on a daily basis. Is it easy? Nope. Especially to those I feel don’t deserve it. But the truth is, none of us deserved God’s grace and forgiveness, and He freely gave it to us anyway wrapped up in salvation through Jesus Christ. Jesus’ words are recorded in Luke 6 when He says, “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you […] If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that […] Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:27-28; 32-33; 36 NIV).

John Newton is the man who penned the famous hymn ‘Amazing Grace’, in collaboration with William Cowper. What led Newton to write these words is a remarkable journey in itself. As a young man he was forced into the British Royal Navy. After a failed attempt to escape his fate, Newton was publicly flogged and demoted. He then requested a transfer aboard a slave ship. On the coast of Sierra Leone, Newton was abandoned by his crew and became a servant of a harsh slave trader where he was relentlessly abused.

Newton was not a believer at this point and in fact led a rebellious life. He kept running from God, but the Lord continued to pursue him through various circumstances. One of those times occurred during a violent storm out at sea which threatened to sink the ship. Newton was captain of his own ship by now, and he was heavily involved in slave trade. In a moment of desperation he cried out for God’s mercy on him. He would later recall that moment in his life as a spiritual turning point. The wheels of grace began turning.

He continued working as a slave trader until 1754 after an illness caused him to hang up his seafaring ways for good. Newton applied for the Anglican priesthood in 1757 and became minister at Olney in Buckinghamshire in 1764. During this period of Newton’s life he met and befriended figures who had great impact on his spiritual growth- George Whitefield, John Wesley, and William Cowper to name a few. John Newton began to regret his time as a slave trader and recounted its horrors in tracts. He describes in detail the conditions of the ships and the life of a slave aboard the ship. Newton became an avid supporter and influencer in the abolition movement because of his personal experience and spiritual convictions.

‘Amazing Grace’ is a summation of his past life before Christ and the continued work of grace even after salvation. These are the first 3 verses to the beloved hymn:

‘Amazing grace! How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found;

Was blind, but now I see.

 

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears relieved;

How precious did that grace appear

The hour I first believed.

 

Through many dangers, toils, and snares,

I have already come;

‘Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home.’

I do not minimize the sin of those who favor abortion but I do maximize the truth of the Gospel because there is grace. There is forgiveness. There is redemption found in Jesus Christ alone. This is what is needed more than anything else. The tide of abortion can change with one heart at a time repenting and knowing Jesus as Savior.

“Then did the dead heart begin to beat,

the darkened eye glimmer with light,

the dull ear catch thy echo,

and I turned to thee and found thee,

a God ready to hear, willing to save […]

Then didst thou come to me in silken robes of love,

and I saw thy Son dying that I might live,

and in that death I found my all.

My soul doth sing at the remembrance of

that peace; […]

Grant that I may always weep to the praise of

mercy found,

and tell to others as long as I live,

that thou art a sin-pardoning God,

taking up the blasphemer and the ungodly,

and washing them from their deepest stain.”

(‘The Great Discovery’, The Valley of Vision, p. 112-3)

Grace upon grace,

April

Rainy days and Mondays

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I love rainy days. We have had quite of few in the past week. My husband jokes that I must be related to Emily Dickinson, but I am certainly not morbid or gloomy. I prefer serious, quiet, and reflective. Occasionally Ms. Cranky Pants, but that is only if I have been sleep deprived (or you take my coffee). I enjoy overcast rainy days because it serves as either a peaceful background noise or reminds me of God’s awesome power. Thunderstorms especially showcase the Lord’s greatness with booms of thunder and cracks of lightning. We need the rain and strong winds to blow away all the excess grime and allow plants and trees to grow. My outside plants would die without the rain, seriously, no green thumb here. They are what we like to call “low-maintenance” foliage.

The rain is a perfect excuse to stay inside and get cozy with a cup of coffee, and a good book. (I’m just kidding I have an energetic four year old). It is ideal anyway. When it is pouring outside I am so thankful that I have a safe haven, a refuge, a shelter to run to during the storm. I am nice and dry in my home, watching the rain fall sideways as it pelts the pavement. Storms in life are essential too for our spiritual growth. It is not always fun, often interrupts our plans, and can sometimes be scary. That is when we run to our Ultimate Refuge, resting in the shadow of His wings. Ever seen a mama bird nestle her young ones under her during a rain shower? She is protecting them from outside elements, keeping those little birds warm and dry. When trials beat down and we feel as though we are drowning, Jesus reaches to pull us up. We run to our Strong Tower, resting in His strength and power.

There is peace among turbulent waters when we meditate on God’s goodness and sovereignty. What Satan uses to harm, God can use for our spiritual good. Even when Mondays roll around and you shoot out of bed like a canon ball going from zero to sixty miles per hour in 2.5 seconds. The day has begun and you already start to fall behind by 7am, unable to catch up with the demands for the day. A lot of times it feels like going around and around in a hamster wheel. You go, go, go, and then look around wondering, what exactly did I accomplish today? For the record, I am not a fan of Mondays. Stress starts mounting and it is only the beginning of the week. Once again you feel yourself drowning. The insurmountable tasks each day, failing over and over again get to be too much. But Jesus is there. He holds out His Hand for you to grab onto. Just like He helped Peter from drowning, Jesus can pull you out also. “Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’ (Matthew 14:31) The trials, the demands, and the stress are a part of life, but Jesus is with you. Have faith and ask for His help. Remember His love for you. Even thank the Lord for the hard moments because that is where spiritual growth takes place. We need the occasional torrential downpour in order to see fruit.

I find myself singing a hymn from a children’s cd that I play for Jesse in the car, because really I need the reminder too. It goes: “Count your blessings name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God has done. Count your blessings name them one by one. Count your many blessings see what God has done.” So do not let rainy days and Mondays get you down. (Bonus points if you get the reference). Find something to be thankful for even when it is hard to see. Keep practicing a grateful heart. Jesus has given us so much to thank Him for.

Grace upon grace,

April

moments of grace

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545803353There are times in my life when I have seen the Hand of the Lord specifically on me. I can look back and remember how He kept me safe. It is important for believers to take time to reflect on God’s grace in their lives. It is good when you recognize God at work, because those moments will encourage your faith. It has given me a grateful heart to know I have personally experienced the Lord’s mercy and grace.

I gave my life to Jesus when I was 7, but for most of my years I did not take my faith as seriously as I should have. In my teens especially I was rebellious and insecure. Looking back on the time I wasted, I also see how God protected me from going down a destructive path. I was like a sheep wandering away from the fold and the Good Shepherd drew me back to Himself. What mercy! What grace!

Fast-forward a few years later to when I was pregnant with Jesse. I can’t remember how many weeks along I was, like 8 or 10, when the doctor told me two things. First, the placenta had torn and I was ordered to not lift anything over 5 pounds for a few weeks to allow this to hopefully repair on it’s own. The second piece of news was that I had an ovarian cyst, 8cm to be exact. By the time I had my son the cyst increased to 10cm. The nurses were dumbfounded that I never had any pain. In fact, I did not feel it at all, but there it was on the ultrasound each and every time in all its glory. That was a moment of God’s grace. A lot of women experience pain with an ovarian cyst that is only 2cm in size. I am so thankful He allowed the cyst to remain painless, so I could enjoy my pregnancy at least through the 2nd trimester. The placenta also healed and did not harm Jesse or me.

After I delivered him he stayed in the NICU for 2 weeks. That was mid-April in 2011. On April 27, 2011 tornadoes ripped through the South. I just so happened to be visiting Jesse at the hospital that day. When the storms turned into tornado threats the hospital executed a specific code to remain on lock down. This meant that no one was allowed to leave the building until further notice. NICU nurses frantically pushed teeny tiny little babies in their carts with all of their wires attached, to the center of the unit. They tried to keep everyone away from the windows. In the middle of the commotion with lights flickering on and off, alarms wailing in the hospital, and tornado sirens, I managed to find the head nurse. I asked her if I could please just hold my baby for his safety. She quickly agreed and then kept marching forward focusing on her job of protecting the precious little ones.

I remember thanking God that I was with Jesse, holding him through his first tornado. I also prayed for the parents who were not with their babies at that moment and the sheer panic they must have felt. I also thought about the nurses, who were not allowed to leave, possibly worrying about children at home, spouses, or parents. It was chaos.

I had to leave Jesse later that night after the weather calmed down, driving though a city and to a home all without power. But God was with me the whole time. Even when I held Jesse in the middle of the NICU I had a sense of calm. I kept praying as everyone waited in uncertainty of the tornado’s path, and had an unexplainable peace. This was God’s grace. I am usually a worrier and control freak, so to be so serene was quite a different approach.

The next day Jesse had his MRI. The hospital ran on generators, as the rest of the city remained shut down. The cysts on his brain were no longer there and he was released from the hospital. (See the full story about his cysts in The Healer). Finally. The only problem was that being a new mom, I had to take my newborn baby fresh out of the NICU to a house without power.

By God’s grace He sent us help through my mother-in-law, Charolette. She was in town visiting us and received word that her area had power. My mother-in-law lives over 2 hours from Huntsville and we had less than half a tank of gas. Lesson learned: Never leave your tank under the half mark in case of a tornado and you have to run for the hills! We made it to her house on gas fumes, again thanking God for His protection and indescribable grace in keeping us safe. My husband’s parents allowed us to stay with them for 5 days until the power was restored in our city. I don’t know if I ever told Charolette, but I am so grateful for her help and service to us during that time. I was an emotional wreck, and needed help with taking care of a new baby. She was there for me, an instrument of God’s grace.

What are some of the moments in your life that you distinctly remember the Lord’s provision or protection? His grace is all over us, we just need to take time to notice and then thank Him. The very fact that you and I are even breathing right now is by God’s grace. Every day you wake up and every night when you go to bed is a testimony of His grace on your life. He keeps you. He upholds you in the middle of a storm. He loves you with an everlasting love. Never forget that. For the unbeliever there is common grace, yet for the child of God His gifts are so much deeper and richer! It is like an unbeliever receives just a taste of God’s goodness, but for His sheep the dam breaks wide open. I’d love to hear how the Lord has specifically worked in your life. Look for His Presence.

Grace upon grace,

April

Imperfectly Perfect

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“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9 NIV)

 

Sometimes I am challenged in my faith, whether it is something I put on myself or subliminal messages from the Christian pop culture I don’t know, but it is to “do more” and “be more”. I hear in these words a works based salvation and that I have to be “good enough” in order to be saved. I believe this is why so many in the church are disillusioned and feel condemned from the start. They wonder if their salvation is true or a lie. I think more people wrestle with this than we realize. We definitely would not say we believe in saving ourselves, but what do our actions say? Are we on every committee that is offered at church, constantly there whenever the doors are open, and a superhero in our community services or projects? I am not saying any of these things are bad, but the motive behind it is the issue. Do we do these things in order to establish our own righteousness, for the praise of man, or do we really serve others because of our love for Jesus?

I’ve struggled with this lately, questioning my love for Jesus. My flesh doubts, but the Spirit within me defends my fragile heart. I know I love Him however imperfect it may be. I wish I could love Him perfectly as He does me, but that will not happen until I am safely in the Savior’s arms in Heaven. All things are perfected in Heaven. This is a promise I hold on to and long for.

I think in those moments where we doubt our faith or wrestle with confusion about the means of salvation, we miss the simplicity of the Gospel. Just look to Scripture for answers. Romans 10:9-11 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord’, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, ‘Anyone who trusts in Him will never be put to shame’.” The rest of Romans 10 is worth reading (actually all of Romans), because the remainder of the chapter talks about how a saint carries out their faith – by telling others about Jesus. If we love someone or something we cannot wait to share it with others. So it is with our love for Jesus, “for out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34 NIV).

The change that has taken place in us through faith will now come out of us in our words, thoughts, and actions. “Do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says” (James 1:22 NIV). Salvation involves God placing a burning desire within our hearts to know Him. He has chosen you and loved you before you even knew Him (1 John 4:19; John 15:16). We respond with a repentant heart, recognizing our sin and deadness apart from Christ (Ephesians 2:1). We confess with our mouths (1 John 1:9). We trust that what God says is true and that He has never lied to us (John 17:17). True believers pursue holiness and desire to love Christ more today than they did yesterday. His children love His Word and want to walk in obedience (Psalm 119:97-104). The saints will persevere to the very end and finish well (Hebrews 12:1-2).

So faith and works work together, but our deeds do not precede faith thereby saving us. Jesus did the saving work for us on the cross. He is the only One who has ever lived a perfect life, so only He could be the perfect sacrifice. Jesus did this, for us, His Beloved. Christians are identified by how they live. This is what makes our faith come alive, “for a tree is recognized by its fruit” (Matthew 12:33 NIV). We walk with Jesus everyday, obeying His commands not out of mere duty, but because we love Him (1 John 2:3-6).

The entire Bible points to Christ and His redemptive work. Scripture is one great love letter to God’s chosen people and meant to glorify His Name. God’s love for us is perfect. He set His love upon us, an imperfect Church, to call His own. I cannot yet love Him the way He lavishes His love on me, but I can still be confident that I am His:

“And this is how we know that He lives in us: We know it by the Spirit He gave us […] This is how you recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, […] You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world” (1 John 3:24; 4:2,4).

I wish I could write all of 1 John on here to make my point, but hopefully it is clear. When God’s love is manifested in the heart of a believer we are able to love Him above all things and love others more than ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39). We cannot work hard enough or ever be good enough to cleanse us from all of our unrighteousness apart from Christ. The Bible says “there is no one who does good, not even one” (Psalm 14:3 NIV). The good news is that believers can have true rest over the doubt of their salvation with these words from Romans 11:5-6: “So too, at the present time there is a remnant chosen by grace. And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace.” However, if you read this and realize you do not know Jesus as your Savior, can I encourage you to come to Him today? Do not put it off. Feel free to leave a comment so I can pray for you and encourage you.

This is part of a prayer taken from The Valley of Vision called ‘The Spirit’s Work’:

“Take of the things of Christ and show them

to my soul;

Through thee may I daily learn more of his love,

grace, compassion, faithfulness, beauty;

Lead me to the cross and show me his wounds,

the hateful nature of evil, the power of Satan;

May I there see my sins as

the nails that transfixed him,

the cords that bound him,

the thorns that tore him,

the sword that pierced him.

Help me to find in his death the reality

and immensity of his love.

Open for me the wondrous volumes of truth

in his, ‘It is finished’.

Grace upon grace,

April