life

Grace in Trials

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Sometimes in the heavy life stuff or even the drudgery of rainy Monday stuff we long to see grace in the midst of it. Like longing for water in the desert, so we need to be sustained in the hard moments. This is a prayer from The Valley of Vision that is helpful to me right now and maybe it is for you too.

Whatever your struggle, know that your response has the potential to become valuable fruit for Jesus. The Lord says He prunes the branches that bear fruit so that they will bear even more fruit. Pruning is a painful, uncomfortable process, and if I’m honest I’d rather escape from my skin to avoid it. But life is messy and hard and trials are inevitable. The good news for believers is that we have a Hope that does not fail us. Perseverance produces character, and through character, an everlasting hope. Thinking of you all today and praying that your trials are not in vain, but will somehow serve the Lord and will turn out for your good. May you receive grace upon grace today.

-April

Grace in Trials

Father of mercies,

Hear me for Jesus’ sake.

I am sinful even in my closest walk

with thee;

it is of thy mercy I died not long ago;

 

Thy grace has given me faith in the cross

by which thou hast reconciled thyself to me

and me to thee,

drawing me by thy great love,

reckoning me as innocent in Christ though

guilty in myself.

 

Giver of all graces,

I look to thee for strength to maintain them in me,

for it is hard to practice what I believe.

 

Strengthen me against temptations.

My heart is an unexhausted fountain of sin,

a river of corruption since childhood days,

flowing on in every pattern of behavior;

 

Thou hast disarmed me of the means

in which I trusted,

and I have no strength but in thee.

Thou alone canst hold back my evil ways,

but without they grace to sustain me I fall.

 

Satan’s darts quickly inflame me,

and the shield that should quench them

easily drops from my hand:

Empower me against his wiles and assaults.

 

Keep me sensible of my weakness,

and of my dependence upon thy strength.

Let every trial teach me more of thy peace,

more of thy love.

 

Thy Holy Spirit is given to increase thy graces,

and I cannot preserve or improve them

unless he works continually in me.

 

May he confirm my trust in thy promised help,

and let me walk humbly in dependence upon thee,

for Jesus’ sake.

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Celebrate Joy (a prayer)

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Thank You, Father for the gift of this day. 

Slow down mindfully no matter what the schedule holds.

Outside may be a fury of deadlines, errands, and appointments,

breaking up squabbles made by little hands and voices –

but inside knowing that life is short, not an emergency.

 The hurry up, keep up pace in our fast moving culture is not something our souls can or should keep in step with.

You, Lord, are to be celebrated in joy not just at Christmas or Easter but everyday.

Each day is a gift because You are the present.

All of the other small, but beautiful gifts coming from Your Hand are stocking stuffers.

You are the Best Gift under the tree, on the Tree. I will celebrate You on this ordinary Monday with the joy and wonder of Christmas Day.

vision of joy

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(Matthew 20:29-34)

The two blind men wanted their sight, Bartimaeus and an unnamed man. Don’t we all want to see? Need to? In blindness we run after gods made out of stone, not even thinking about the God Man who became flesh like us. Jesus restored their sight that day. He gave them the gift of human sight, but more importantly, faith sight. It isn’t until Jesus touches our eyes that we are healed too. Our soul eyes need to be opened before we realize the need for a Savior.

“I once was blind, but now I see” as the old hymn goes. Even with the gift of sight we sometimes decide to take off those glasses. Because at least for now while we reside on earth, our glasses serve as a spiritual tool for better vision. I think those should be included in the armor of God. We at times need to be reminded to keep them on so we don’t wander off blindly, hands outstretched, searching, grasping air. When we remember to put the glasses on and gaze into the Word of God, we see with intention. We go joy hunting through His Word, which gives us breath and life. We learn, over and over again to follow Him through the valleys and peaks of life.

We follow Jesus until our dying breath living out His will, in His strength. And after death we still live in His presence forever and ever- Joy made flesh and sight and solid. What a sweet healing for our eyes. What restoration! How vital to really, clearly see in 20/20 spiritual vision, crystal clear in heaven.

These two men knew the power of Christ. Not only that, they understood His divine identity before they could even see. God was working on their spiritual eyes before He healed the physical. Because eyes to see the mystery of Christ is more critical than the ability to see anything this world has to offer. They followed Him with joy after Jesus healed them because they knew. The blind men had faith in His uncontainable power, His compassion for those without sight to see Saving Grace.

To see God fully is what every Christian longs for. The Spirit acts as the eyes of our hearts. The Lord tears down the blindspots we put up and replaces it with grace to see in spiritual technicolor. This is the truest reality, the one in which you and I cannot yet vividly grasp. Our world now is smoke and mirrors, which will soon burn away and shrivel up. It isn’t really real. We can touch it, see, taste, hear, and smell these good gifts but something greater, more real than where we are now awaits.

Thank You El Roi for the glimpses of the far better and not yet. Thank You for loving us so fully and completely.

Thank You, Father that You are “the God who sees”. We desire to be seen, noticed, cared for, understood. You tell us to “cast all our cares on You” – help us to see as You see things, with holy eyes.

Let us learn to see the everyday graces, to trust You in everything. We just might find ourselves surprised by joy.

Grace upon grace,

April

Go Deeper:  Mark 10:46-52; Luke 18:35-43

The Joy Word

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My son has a Veggie Tales book about having a thankful heart. It even has a song to go along with it (yes, a song). A few months ago all he wanted to do was press that song button on the book over and over and over. He would ask for the “happy” book, signing “happy” and point to the bookshelf. As much as I dislike the squeaky, cartoon voices in the song, I can’t help but pay close attention to the words: “Because a thankful heart is a happy heart. I’m glad for what I have that’s an easy way to start…”. The Lord knows I need this reminder just as much as my little guy, probably more. In fact I’m sure of it. It dawned on me after hearing the “happy” song for many, many nights in a row that this is where joy is born. Gratitude for our daily blessings creates a joyful space in our spirit. This joy expands the more we fix our eyes on His gifts to us.

Joy. It’s uncovered through the art of gratitude.

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God has prepared us for this. We were made for joy with Him forevermore. We can start practicing to live in joy today. Maybe it’s hard for you also. This is about finding joy in the ordinary, everyday mundane- recovering lost beauty and a worshipful heart.

Gifts that you wouldn’t necessarily think as gifts can be. For me, my son’s disabilities are a kind of gift. He still carries a sense of wonder over the ordinary, because his learning of the outside world is just now emerging. I get to see the world through him with fresh eyes. His infectious laughter gets me and my husband every time. We just look at each other and grin, thankful we get to be his parents. The obstacles of not yet having more children have also been a gift of leaning close to the Lord, trusting Him even when I don’t understand.

Our sense of beauty, innocence and joy was stolen in the Garden of Eden from the very first sin. We need to remember what it looks like and claim His goodness again. I don’t want to live the one life I have with cynicism and joylessness. That is a wasted life.

If “the joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10 NIV) then we need to know what that means. While you scour the food crusted pots at the sink, dig in the dirt planting the tulip bulb to blossom come spring, while you rock your little one to sleep quietly humming a lullaby- joy is there. It’s in the cracks of life, springing up from the ground. It is not a naïve “Pollyanna” attitude, although that term (and movie) does get a bad wrap. It’s a knowing. It is recognizing the source of Life, the Giver of the gifts. Understanding how much we are loved immeasurably through the Greatest Sacrifice in the history of mankind? Let your Joy start there.

Grace upon grace,

April

Prayer:

Thank You Lord, for our greatest joy, the gift of salvation bought with the sinless blood of Jesus Christ. Those you have called to Yourself are never more secure. You love your children with an everlasting love. Thank you Father, for our many blessings, the ones we can see and especially the blessings which we cannot. Let your children live in solemn, bold joy today. We pray Your kingdom come soon, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

Amen.

Questions & Boxing

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480813165   Sometimes my desires don’t line up with God’s plans for me. Sometimes the unexpected life turns are welcome and other times I question Him. Facing the reality of secondary infertility I wonder, how can the desire for another child be so wrong? Why does everything have to be so difficult? Why does life have to be so hard?

Forgive my cheesy analogy, but life is like a boxing match. I get in the ring with my opponent, Life, and throw some punches. I can take most of the punches too. Then there is that one blow that knocks me off my feet, flat on the ground. Do I eventually get up again, start the circle dance with my gloves back up in a fighting stance? Or do I just need to lie there like a dead fish and wave the white flag?

I think the Sovereign Lord does give us more than we can handle sometimes, for one reason: to rely on Him. It is not in my strength that I keep persevering, keep hoping, keep believing, and keep loving. It is in His strength, through the power of the Holy Spirit who dwells in me. Paul talks about his hardships being unbearable in his letter to the church in Corinth. He writes:

“We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us,” (2 Corinthians 1:8-10 NIV).

I am not strong enough to go toe to toe with Life all by myself. Jehovah is strong and He is willing. All I have to do is loosen my grip on the “what I want” and instead embrace, “not my will, but Yours be done”. Just as He spoke directly into Paul’s pain saying, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness,” (2 Cor. 12:9 NIV), the Shepherd of my soul whispers these loving words into my heart.

The Father works through submissive servants. If my will does not align with His, there will be struggle and the Spirit’s power in me is stifled. God wants my obedience and trust more than He wants my ideas. He lovingly spells it out in Scripture because God knows we need to see His promises in black and white (sometimes red) right in front of our face. That is why He has given us His words as gentle reminders of Who is really in control. He also shows us that He isn’t a cruel dictator either, but uses the living Word to woo us to Himself.

When we realize that God Almighty is the absolute best thing for us, we can rest assured that His plans are too. We do not have to pace back and forth, wringing our hands wondering if the Lord’s way of doing things is right, because it always is. When I start to get upset because my life is not going exactly how I pictured it, I can find comfort in these words of love:

“You keep him in perfect peace him whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3)

“Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to Me; hear Me, that your soul may live” (Isaiah 55:2-3)

“ ‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways’, declares the Lord” (Isaiah 55:8)

“ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart’” (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

sb10067337z-001           So yes, I would still love to have more kids but right now for whatever reason God has said ‘no’ at least to biological children. He asks us to walk by faith, not by sight. He calls us to continue to trust in what we already know of Him- God is Good, Sovereign, Holy, Loving, Pure, Just, True and Faithful. I fight in His strength and not my own, but I have to be an obedient vessel, pliable in the Hands of God. In the end, hopefully I can echo Paul’s words:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day- and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for His appearing” (2 Timothy 4:7-8 NIV).

When I don’t understand life circumstances, when I feel too weak to stand, when Life pelts me to the ground, I look up. His Hand reaches down to lift me up. He tells me to get behind Him as He acts as my Shield. I am not fighting alone, and I never have to.

“But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth.

The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to His heavenly kingdom. To Him be glory for ever and ever. Amen” (2 Timothy 4:17-18 NIV).

Grace upon grace,

April

 

A Human(e) Proposal

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128559951Consider the following quotes by pro-choice advocate Ms. Mary Elizabeth Williams. Her article is titled ‘So what if abortion ends a life?’.

“I believe that life starts at conception. And it’s never stopped me from being pro-choice.”

“… I know that throughout my own pregnancies, I never wavered for a moment in the belief that I was carrying a human life inside of me. I believe that’s what a fetus is: a human life. And that doesn’t make me one iota less solidly pro-choice.”

“Here’s the complicated reality in which we live: All life is not equal […] a fetus can be a human life without having the same rights as the woman in whose body it resides. She’s the boss. Her life and what is right for her circumstances and her health should automatically trump the rights of the non-autonomous entity inside of her. Always.”

Wow.

So…yeah, Ms. Williams and her like-minded followers are gripping harder to their position for pro-choice. They are also acknowledging the fact that life does indeed begin at conception. If she and others like her affirm this, then they knowingly and willingly kill human life. In fact they defend it and promote it. This is how hardened our hearts can be, and if it were not for the grace of God who is to say that you or I would think the same way in our unbelieving, unregenerate, depraved state? We are not any better except God’s mercy has been bestowed upon us.

Pro-choice advocates are no longer dancing around the terms cloaked in vagueness about abortion. It is very matter-of-fact, unapologetically saying, ‘yes, I see that this is a baby, so what?’ These people love to play God and are under the illusion that they are in “control” of the womb. How sadly mistaken they are! If a pro-choice supporter agrees that creation made in the secret place of a womb is life, a human, a future man or woman, then it seems to me that there are a lot of holes left in their position. Now I am not a rocket scientist, brain surgeon, or frankly the brightest light bulb, but if an abortionist supports murdering life in the womb, why stop there? Why not extend it to two year olds, five year olds, and 85 year olds? All in the name of “research” of course. You get to choose who is expendable.

Ever read Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal? It is satire in which the speaker comes up with a “solution” to help the over populated lower class. He suggests that they have those children, plumping them up to be nice and tender, ready for sale by one year of age, sold to the rich…to be eaten. The subtitle reads: for Preventing the Children of poor People in Ireland from being a Burden to their Parents or Country; and for making them beneficial to the Publick. Overpopulation problem solved. Now readers definitely see the absurdity in this, but are we not too far off from it? We certainly do not eat children we just maim, dismember, and sell off their body parts. That is, if we decide not to crush them and succeed at keeping a child “intact”. Genetic research problem solved.

Who gives us that right to see to it that some babies are treated like lab rats while others are given the privilege to live? Answer: We don’t have that right to say who lives and who dies. It is the height of hubris and wickedness of man. And yet just as the nameless speaker in A Modest Proposal calmly advocates cannibalism for the sake of the economy, abortionists rationalize murder for the sake of scientific research. Swift “indicts the English for inhumanity, the Irish for passivity, and the economically oriented proposer of remedies for moral blindness” (1). I would say that abortionists are inhumane, the Christians passive and the pro-choice supporters morally blind.

Christians are not living out their call to love well if we look the other way on this issue. “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:6-7 NIV). What are we to protect, trust in, hope in, and persevere in? Love. Followers of Jesus love well when we are protectors of truth. Part of that truth means believing in the value and sanctity of each life. This is what the psalmist says about the Creator of Life when He made each of us: “My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body” (Psalm 139:15-16). So what are we do to? What is required of us? That is also found in Scripture. Micah 6:8 says, “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (NIV). This is the calling on our lives for those who passionately love, serve, and belong to Christ. Seek justice for those who cannot do it themselves, and live in a way that represents mercy on our fellow man, all created in the image of God. And best of all, we walk in fellowship with the Lord, humbly serving Him, acknowledging that He is Sovereign over everything. Live it out brothers and sisters, in grace, in love, in truth.

Grace upon grace,

April

Notes:

  1. The Norton Anthology: Western Literature, 8th ed., vol. 2, 291; 341-47.

Brave heart

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524704907“ ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’ He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!’ Then he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.’ ” (Revelation 21:4-5 NIV)

 

I have seen the undercover videos that expose Planned Parenthood for what it truly is. I have seen with my own eyes the mutilated flesh of an infant, 18-20 weeks alive in the womb, a twin actually. I saw a tiny clenched fist and two little legs in the pile as the medical assistant sifted through the remains of “sellable” organs. I watched, speechless, heart in throat, feeling like I might vomit as I processed in my mind the barbaric reality. Abortion has been legal in the U.S. since 1973 and as a result, millions of children murdered. Somehow though, seeing it with my own eyes, hearing the crunch of a skull as examiners attempt to retrieve the brain “intact”, strikes directly at my heart and conscience. I can never un-see those things and now, I can never walk in ignorance either. I didn’t even watch the videos all the way through because it was all so disturbing. I have a pretty vivid imagination that can guess how the rest of it played out.

Eighteenth century abolitionist and poet Hannah More said, “It should be held as an eternal truth, that what is morally wrong can never be politically right” (Fierce Convictions, Karen Swallow Prior). She was referring to slave trade but the same holds true for abortion. It is another form of human trafficking, which makes a profit off of body parts. It celebrates the degradation of human life and dignity.

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When it feels like Satan is winning it is easy for the Christian to become discouraged. What is abominable and wicked is deemed acceptable and normal. They nod their heads ‘yes’ in casual agreement over Mexican food and a glass of wine, business as usual. They cannot see the blood on their hands. What are we to do? How can we be a voice for the voiceless when we feel so helpless?

2 Chronicles 20 recounts the time when King Jehoshaphat was informed that the Moabites and Ammonites were on the march to make war with Judah. Faced with this sudden attack Jehoshaphat did the only thing he knew to do in his time of need. The Bible records he “resolved to inquire of the Lord, and he proclaimed a fast for all Judah. The people of Judah came together to seek help from the Lord; indeed, they came from every town in Judah to seek Him” (2 Chronicles 20:3-4 NIV). Jehoshaphat prayed for Judah, pleading with Jehovah, “O our God, will You not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon You” (2 Chronicles 20:12 NIV; italics mine).

I think this is one of the most transparent and humble prayers coming from a king. Jehoshaphat knew Who was in control and sought the Lord’s favor and guidance. The Scriptures also say that all of the rest of Judah, men, women, and children stood there before the Lord. They were united in One Hope. We need that in 2015. When the enemy attacks and the violence is relentless do we seek the Father’s help? How are we responding? Pray. Yes, pray fervently. Is the Lord asking you to become bold in stepping out and speaking up? Are you called to serve an organization that promotes life? Each Christian has unique gifts and special callings. We are only to obey. Be brave. Even if right now the way you stand against abortion is to choose to have your child. Raise your babies to fear and love the Lord. Teach them to be Christ-like.

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Our Matchless King demonstrated His power to Judah and king Jehoshaphat. The rest of 2 Chronicles 20 says that God spoke words of encouragement to them. The Lord said: “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s”(20:15 NIV). God has the ultimate victory. He will fight for us when we are limp and can barely hold up our shields. The Lord told the people of Judah: “You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you’” (20:17 NIV). He calls us to have courage, be strong, and trust in Him. It means we are not alone and therefore do not act alone. When we are obedient to look to Him, and stand in truth, He will allow His power to work through us and change the world, little by little. We have the privilege to be the Potter’s instruments.

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When it feels like Satan is winning we can hold fast to the truth that Adonai is on His throne. When it feels like Satan is winning we can look to that Day when the Perfect Judge executes perfect justice. When it feels like Satan is winning we can cling to the knowledge that God has already won. He is Jehovah-Nissi, ‘The Lord is My Banner’. You see, we as Christians can look forward to the promises of God when all is made new, restored, perfected and glorified. One day. Will be. Future tense. Sin and this world will pass away someday. The lives of these precious children who never had the chance to live will not have been taken in vain. No, God sees the sewage of sin, the stench reaching to His nostrils. When we feel helpless as Christians we can humbly cry out to the Lord like Judah’s ancient king and say, “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon You.”

Grace upon grace,

April

To watch the Undercover Planned Parenthood videos go to: http://www.theblaze.com

For further information on supporting life and adoption go to: http://www.choose-life.org

Rainy days and Mondays

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I love rainy days. We have had quite of few in the past week. My husband jokes that I must be related to Emily Dickinson, but I am certainly not morbid or gloomy. I prefer serious, quiet, and reflective. Occasionally Ms. Cranky Pants, but that is only if I have been sleep deprived (or you take my coffee). I enjoy overcast rainy days because it serves as either a peaceful background noise or reminds me of God’s awesome power. Thunderstorms especially showcase the Lord’s greatness with booms of thunder and cracks of lightning. We need the rain and strong winds to blow away all the excess grime and allow plants and trees to grow. My outside plants would die without the rain, seriously, no green thumb here. They are what we like to call “low-maintenance” foliage.

The rain is a perfect excuse to stay inside and get cozy with a cup of coffee, and a good book. (I’m just kidding I have an energetic four year old). It is ideal anyway. When it is pouring outside I am so thankful that I have a safe haven, a refuge, a shelter to run to during the storm. I am nice and dry in my home, watching the rain fall sideways as it pelts the pavement. Storms in life are essential too for our spiritual growth. It is not always fun, often interrupts our plans, and can sometimes be scary. That is when we run to our Ultimate Refuge, resting in the shadow of His wings. Ever seen a mama bird nestle her young ones under her during a rain shower? She is protecting them from outside elements, keeping those little birds warm and dry. When trials beat down and we feel as though we are drowning, Jesus reaches to pull us up. We run to our Strong Tower, resting in His strength and power.

There is peace among turbulent waters when we meditate on God’s goodness and sovereignty. What Satan uses to harm, God can use for our spiritual good. Even when Mondays roll around and you shoot out of bed like a canon ball going from zero to sixty miles per hour in 2.5 seconds. The day has begun and you already start to fall behind by 7am, unable to catch up with the demands for the day. A lot of times it feels like going around and around in a hamster wheel. You go, go, go, and then look around wondering, what exactly did I accomplish today? For the record, I am not a fan of Mondays. Stress starts mounting and it is only the beginning of the week. Once again you feel yourself drowning. The insurmountable tasks each day, failing over and over again get to be too much. But Jesus is there. He holds out His Hand for you to grab onto. Just like He helped Peter from drowning, Jesus can pull you out also. “Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt?’ (Matthew 14:31) The trials, the demands, and the stress are a part of life, but Jesus is with you. Have faith and ask for His help. Remember His love for you. Even thank the Lord for the hard moments because that is where spiritual growth takes place. We need the occasional torrential downpour in order to see fruit.

I find myself singing a hymn from a children’s cd that I play for Jesse in the car, because really I need the reminder too. It goes: “Count your blessings name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God has done. Count your blessings name them one by one. Count your many blessings see what God has done.” So do not let rainy days and Mondays get you down. (Bonus points if you get the reference). Find something to be thankful for even when it is hard to see. Keep practicing a grateful heart. Jesus has given us so much to thank Him for.

Grace upon grace,

April

moments of grace

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545803353There are times in my life when I have seen the Hand of the Lord specifically on me. I can look back and remember how He kept me safe. It is important for believers to take time to reflect on God’s grace in their lives. It is good when you recognize God at work, because those moments will encourage your faith. It has given me a grateful heart to know I have personally experienced the Lord’s mercy and grace.

I gave my life to Jesus when I was 7, but for most of my years I did not take my faith as seriously as I should have. In my teens especially I was rebellious and insecure. Looking back on the time I wasted, I also see how God protected me from going down a destructive path. I was like a sheep wandering away from the fold and the Good Shepherd drew me back to Himself. What mercy! What grace!

Fast-forward a few years later to when I was pregnant with Jesse. I can’t remember how many weeks along I was, like 8 or 10, when the doctor told me two things. First, the placenta had torn and I was ordered to not lift anything over 5 pounds for a few weeks to allow this to hopefully repair on it’s own. The second piece of news was that I had an ovarian cyst, 8cm to be exact. By the time I had my son the cyst increased to 10cm. The nurses were dumbfounded that I never had any pain. In fact, I did not feel it at all, but there it was on the ultrasound each and every time in all its glory. That was a moment of God’s grace. A lot of women experience pain with an ovarian cyst that is only 2cm in size. I am so thankful He allowed the cyst to remain painless, so I could enjoy my pregnancy at least through the 2nd trimester. The placenta also healed and did not harm Jesse or me.

After I delivered him he stayed in the NICU for 2 weeks. That was mid-April in 2011. On April 27, 2011 tornadoes ripped through the South. I just so happened to be visiting Jesse at the hospital that day. When the storms turned into tornado threats the hospital executed a specific code to remain on lock down. This meant that no one was allowed to leave the building until further notice. NICU nurses frantically pushed teeny tiny little babies in their carts with all of their wires attached, to the center of the unit. They tried to keep everyone away from the windows. In the middle of the commotion with lights flickering on and off, alarms wailing in the hospital, and tornado sirens, I managed to find the head nurse. I asked her if I could please just hold my baby for his safety. She quickly agreed and then kept marching forward focusing on her job of protecting the precious little ones.

I remember thanking God that I was with Jesse, holding him through his first tornado. I also prayed for the parents who were not with their babies at that moment and the sheer panic they must have felt. I also thought about the nurses, who were not allowed to leave, possibly worrying about children at home, spouses, or parents. It was chaos.

I had to leave Jesse later that night after the weather calmed down, driving though a city and to a home all without power. But God was with me the whole time. Even when I held Jesse in the middle of the NICU I had a sense of calm. I kept praying as everyone waited in uncertainty of the tornado’s path, and had an unexplainable peace. This was God’s grace. I am usually a worrier and control freak, so to be so serene was quite a different approach.

The next day Jesse had his MRI. The hospital ran on generators, as the rest of the city remained shut down. The cysts on his brain were no longer there and he was released from the hospital. (See the full story about his cysts in The Healer). Finally. The only problem was that being a new mom, I had to take my newborn baby fresh out of the NICU to a house without power.

By God’s grace He sent us help through my mother-in-law, Charolette. She was in town visiting us and received word that her area had power. My mother-in-law lives over 2 hours from Huntsville and we had less than half a tank of gas. Lesson learned: Never leave your tank under the half mark in case of a tornado and you have to run for the hills! We made it to her house on gas fumes, again thanking God for His protection and indescribable grace in keeping us safe. My husband’s parents allowed us to stay with them for 5 days until the power was restored in our city. I don’t know if I ever told Charolette, but I am so grateful for her help and service to us during that time. I was an emotional wreck, and needed help with taking care of a new baby. She was there for me, an instrument of God’s grace.

What are some of the moments in your life that you distinctly remember the Lord’s provision or protection? His grace is all over us, we just need to take time to notice and then thank Him. The very fact that you and I are even breathing right now is by God’s grace. Every day you wake up and every night when you go to bed is a testimony of His grace on your life. He keeps you. He upholds you in the middle of a storm. He loves you with an everlasting love. Never forget that. For the unbeliever there is common grace, yet for the child of God His gifts are so much deeper and richer! It is like an unbeliever receives just a taste of God’s goodness, but for His sheep the dam breaks wide open. I’d love to hear how the Lord has specifically worked in your life. Look for His Presence.

Grace upon grace,

April