reflecting

When I don’t desire God (and 8 ways to help)

/ RedeemedInGrace / 2 Comments

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When I lack the desire to pray or read the Bible there’s a problem. My mind turns into a thick fog, unable to hold firm to the truth I profess. My spirit becomes dry so I fill cracked cisterns with other things – distractions.

Studies show that the average adult attention span is less than a goldfish, eight seconds. The rest of modern society and I whip out our electronic devices jumping from one thing to the next. I am restless and unable to focus.

There is something unique in the current era that generations before us did not fight against. We now have the ability to be in constant communication, literally at our fingertips, with every form of entertainment seeping through our lives. There is no room for quiet, so we slowly distract ourselves to death.

I don’t want to paint a broad picture that all of modern technology is evil and we should just retreat like monks. What I am saying is that I think my lack of desire to be still before the Lord has a lot to do with the bombardment of ways to get my focus off of God and onto lesser things. Sometimes these dry spiritual seasons echo the state of my heart. Sometimes God uses these lessons to teach me something about Him, that only He can quench my thirst.

There needs to be a wake-up call in the heart of believers who fall into this trap like me. I noted eight helpful ways to stir our spirit toward God again:

 

  1. Moderation, narrow your search, turn it off.

Eliminate digital clutter by being intentional with how much time you decide to spend online. Stick to it. Time is a precious gift and it would be a shame if you realize at the end of your life how much of it was wasted on social media, Internet surfing, or a Netflix binge.

Beyond that, try unsubscribing to a few email lists you’re on, limit the number of articles or blogs you read. There are a billion zillion things to find online and there just isn’t enough time in the day to take in everything. Be choosy.

When you set time aside to study the Bible, turn off your phone and the T.V. or whatever else might be a temptation for you. These devices are tools meant to serve us, not the other way around. We are losing our ability to be comfortable in silence. Exercising personal discipline in pursuit of our rich God is priceless, I promise you.

 

  1. Read the Psalms.

Read it aloud even. Speak the words back to God like David did, crying out to Him. Highlight verses that the Holy Spirit teaches you. Meditate on it.

 

  1. Seek God in each page of the Bible.

As you read the Bible, look for specific attributes of God. Where is He and what characteristics do you see? Is He Faithful? Creator? Lawgiver? Redeemer? Shepherd? Teacher? Remember that the Bible is first and foremost a book about God, not us, so find Him in each page you read.

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  1. Pray.

Ask God to help you see clearly again spiritual truth. He is faithful and hears the prayers of His own. Ask for prayer from another believer – a trusted friend or someone else mature in his or her faith.

 

  1. Memorization.

Memorizing a Bible verse to carry with you throughout the week might be the one thing that sustains you. Repeat it frequently and let God use that truth to work in your mind.

 

  1. Work it out.

Taking a walk outside or some form of exercise is a great way to clear my head. I can take that time to walk in prayer, or just slow down long enough to notice God’s beauty around me.

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  1. Worship through music.

When I can’t even find the words to pray, worship music speaks for me. I punch in Chris Tomlin’s station on Pandora and my spirit is lifted once again. The melody soothes my soul and the lyrics remind me to worship the Living God.

 

  1. Write out your blessings, big and small.

Developing a grateful heart naturally leads to praising the God of grace, the Perfect Giver. You’ll be surprised at how blessed you really are.

 

Then wait for God to move. We can’t force the rhythms of grace. We ask, we seek, and then we wait. Even when the tumbleweeds blow in the desert of your soul, hold on to what you know to be true. God is keeping His Beloved. Sometimes we wander away and the Lord uses those seasons to grow us up in maturity. I usually learn the hard way. However the Lord of all decides to work in our fellowship with Him it is always for our good and His Glory.

 

Grace upon grace,

April

6 Things Every Special Needs Parent Wishes You Knew

/ RedeemedInGrace / 1 Comment

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“but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.” -Romans 5:3-5

 

I hesitate to even write something like this because I can see how it would easily be interpreted as complaining. However, I think that sometimes when one can serve as the voice for many to be heard, it is beneficial for all. I have met other parents with special needs children and while our stories don’t look exactly alike, this list I think addresses issues most parents feel. Even parents with typically developing kids will identify on some points.

Children are a blessing from the Lord, and as we learn what struggles each of us face, “to walk in one’s shoes” so to speak, maybe there can be room in our hearts for patience, compassion, encouragement, and even prayer toward one another.

 

  1. We often feel overwhelmed mentally.

Feeling physically exhausted goes with the territory of any parent with small children. And you do sometimes feel like you will lose your ever lovin’ mind. But raising a special needs child is especially mentally taxing. There is a steep learning curve for parents to learn medical language for example. There are encounters with neonatologists, neurologists, audiologists, optometrists, GI specialists, geneticists, podiatrists, sleep specialists, along with his general pediatrician.

Then we learn the ropes (and jargon) for therapy with Early Intervention, the “experts” in Autism (or whatever the disability), speech, occupational, physical, and playgroups. We find out what our insurance will and will not cover, and then play phone tag with the insurance companies.

Parents with special needs children are later immersed into the world of education (and there’s a whole set of special terms to learn here as well). Obviously we want the best for our child, and I am personally grateful for the educational opportunities we have been given. But this also involves 2-3 hour long IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meetings with your child’s “team” to write out goals and services for him that are legally binding.

Sometimes when we don’t agree with the educational team about his placement or switching schools (again) there is push back. We are their advocates and sometimes that requires fighting “the system” to do what we feel is best for our child.

Most children with Autism have sleeping problems (as high as 80%). This affects not just the child, but also everyone else in the house. Parents are sleep deprived long past the newborn stage and are expected to function as if nothing is wrong.

 

  1. We worry about our child’s lack of development

We wonder if they will ever become independently functional. What will happen if one or both parents die? What will happen to her once she becomes an adult? Will I still be able to care for her?

Worrying about the future is fruitless because no one knows the future except God. But the fears still haunt us and for me it calls for daily trust in the One who designed my child.

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  1. It can feel very isolating

We can’t carry on the same conversations with other parents about our kids. While yours is playing tee-ball and learning about rockets, mine just learned to drink from an open cup without spilling. We celebrate in a big way those little milestones because it’s a small step toward progress for him.

I have to work at not feeling angry or cursed in isolation just because others “don’t get it”. Honestly, it isn’t their job to understand my situation although it would be nice. I have to remember that Jesus sees me and He has carried us through so far. When Christ lived on earth He was misunderstood and even rejected. The Lord sympathizes with my heart.

 

  1. We love our kids!

It pains us to see them struggle or not quite fit in but its just part of the deal. Other special needs parents I know Google like crazy, research like grad students, take their child to a renowned doctor states away, sit in a waiting room while their son has a 6 hour operation, inquire over the best therapy places in town, or special sports teams/activities and attend parent support groups.

These parents are warriors for their kids, utilizing all the resources available to them. All so they can give their kids their best chance to thrive.

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  1. We may not be great at relationships

This goes back to the isolation thing. It is very hard to connect with someone who looks at you as if you’re from a foreign land when you tell them about your day-to-day activities. And sometimes when we sense a lack of grace in how we raise our kids, we draw back. If you thought there wasn’t a manual for parenting a typical child, there definitely isn’t one for raising a special needs kid. It is a vast frontier of uncharted territory for us and we are doing the best we can just like you are.

I also just do not have the mental energy at this time right now. Even scheduling lunch with a friend outside the regular routine makes me want to hyperventilate.

Friends and family who stick by us understand if we don’t call enough or visit enough. There is already a load of guilt for not doing “all the things we should”.

We long for community and a support system, and some of us have it, but some are in a season of life where survival mode is the only option.

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  1. We connect differently with our kids

Like I said before, we love our children, but for me personally, communication is an obstacle. I understand (and interpret) what he says some of the time. My little guy is persistent though and will repeat the same word a few times hoping I’ll make sense of it. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t, and we just move on both a little disheartened.

We tell our children we love them over and over, even if we never hear it back. We play their games, the habitual ones (spinning, anyone?), because we long to meet them where they are, so we step into their world.

It’s mind numbing for sure, but for that time he looks in my eyes, holds my hand, falls asleep on my chest, or squeals with delight? Well, that makes all of this totally worth it.

To the parent of a special needs child, you are doing a great job just for getting out of bed each day ready to take on the daily challenges and demands. Don’t give up on your baby.

To others who know of someone with a child who has special needs, show them grace. Understand that their lives function differently than the rest. Give them a hug or shoot them an email of prayer/encouragement. Parents need it!

Hopefully we can all take a step closer toward loving others right where they are, however messy or hard. It is in those moments the light of Jesus Christ is reflected back to the ones you reach out and serve. And isn’t that what we all want in the end? For the world to see Jesus in us, because He is the very best thing for every parent and every child and every person.

 

Grace upon grace,

April

 

 

 

 

The Importance of Being Still

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Last month Jesse had a seizure. I still remember the phone call from his school nurse. There was slight alarm in her voice, but mostly matter-of-fact. Jesse doesn’t have a history of seizures so this caught everyone off guard. For some reason the moment I heard the word “seizure” I went on autopilot. Rushing out of the house I basically flew to his school. The ambulance blazed sirens loud, passing me at the stop light. I knew those ear cringing alarms were for my son, and my stomach twisted. Pulling in right behind the ambulance at school, I found Jesse quietly sitting up in the clinic. Everything was swirly but not once did I freak out or break down.

That was on a Thursday. I answered the questions from the nurse, school staff, paramedics, husband, doctors, and grandparents. My mind and heart stayed occupied on Jesse the entire weekend, sticking to him like glue. On Sunday we went to church and I still had not emotionally responded to his seizure. Jesse went into his classroom while Jason and I sat in the service. For the first time since receiving that phone call my heart was quiet. In the hush of not asking or answering questions, hearing only the sound of the organ pumping through the sanctuary my eyes filled up. I had not been apart from him since it happened, somehow thinking my presence could prevent another one from occurring. My insides started to crumble realizing the seriousness of it all and how grateful I was he was okay.

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Whenever I keep busy or at least mindlessly pre-occupied, the heart issues well up during the week and go unchecked. When there is no room for quiet there is no chance to hear God’s whisper. It is when God gets me alone the dust settles a bit and my spirit is most vulnerable. He sustains us in the storms and waits for us in the quiet. Psalm 46 came to mind days later noting the significance of being still before the Lord.

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress.” (Ps. 46:10-11 NIV; emphasis mine)

Even when our world comes crashing down the Father assures us that He is “our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” (Ps. 46:1). Monday through Saturday I blanket my heart to keep from listening to the God of the Universe. Sometimes its unintentional, sometimes it isn’t. When we feel restless it is because we are not properly resting in Jesus. He has Power and I disregard it as not enough. Grasping the wind to satisfy my soul doesn’t work.

Even as I sit before Him, my mind races with all the things to do today. The Enemy loves to work overtime when we become intentional in pursuing Christ. Don’t let that deter you. When we persevere in our time alone with Jesus and hush our souls, He starts to show up. God has so much to offer and teach us, all we need is to be still and a willingness to listen. You might be surprised what the Lord reveals to you – sin, hurt, suppressed emotions; I always am. Since God made us He knows how we operate better than our selves. The Father of Heaven knows you perfectly, inside and out.

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If we aren’t learning to quiet our hearts as we enter His Majestic Presence we will burn out. Joy is found in worshipping God, which comes from our spirits keeping in step with His. There is one rhythm, the same will, a shared love in connection to fellowship with the Lord.

Jesse’s medical emergency was a wake up call for our family. It also showed me how often I live my life in fight or flight mode, keeping my mind and heart cluttered. Today is not Sunday, so I don’t have the privilege to sit in the sanctuary. But on every other day in the week I can start to carve quiet moments alone with Him. The couch, the kitchen sink, the car are all places that can be turned into a place of worship. Everywhere we go we can be living sanctuaries, knowing the importance of being still.

 

Grace upon grace,

April

Childlike prayer

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We pull into the turning lane to enter our neighborhood and I start to tense because he does. My four-year-old son with autism, hates stopping in traffic. The onset of cars rushing toward him on one side and whizzing by on the other is sensory overload for his system. I can’t say I blame him. He starts to scream, and kicks the center console from his car seat. He cries, “Pray!” And then there is a whimpering, almost begging in his voice, “pray?” My heart splits right in two.

So with my eyes still on the road I lift up my son’s fears to the Lord, asking Him to bring calm and peace to my son’s heart. He quiets and settles down a little, and the two of us turn into our familiar street leaving the chaos of the road for another day.

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I’m often convicted of my anemic prayer life after hearing my son ask for prayer. He prays about everything. I taught him the singing one, “God our Father, God our Father, we give thanks, we give thanks, for our many blessings, for our many blessings, Amen. Amen.” So now whenever he is fearful, in trouble, about to eat, or thankful he puts his little hands together in prayer.

I want to be more intentional, and frequent like that. When we cry out to God offering our pleas or praises, the heart calms. The reason we are admonished to “pray without ceasing” is that our spirits need reminding of Who is in control. I am helpless and needy. It is when I pray that I feel even closer to the Lord. He designed it that way.

Communion in prayer and fellowship with the Father depend on how often I’m speaking to Him in prayer as His Spirit speaks to me through His Word. It doesn’t have to sound super spiritual or stifled with formality. We have the freedom to speak from the heart and plainly present our requests, like a child. God knows what we pray before we even say it, but He also knows that prayer forms belief. It is for our benefit.

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Prayer allows us to see God at work on a personal level. Intimacy blossoms with the Lord as we get a front seat view to His power and faithfulness in answering our petitions. We experience God in those moments. Also, when we don’t get the answers we want, it doesn’t mean the Father is absent or a hard God. It simply means He has a better plan in mind, meant for your good and His glory.

No matter your situation, big or small, nothing is too insignificant or too hard for our Great God. I’m learning to pray and praise God for the everyday things, not just go to Him with emergency crisis prayers.

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My son asks to pray again when we get home. This time it’s because he’s thankful. I can learn from him about how to pray. To be dependent on God through the power of prayer is an opportunity to grow deeper in love and trust with the One who knows us best. It is only then that I understand what it means to have the faith of a child.

Grace upon grace,

April

Celebrate Joy (a prayer)

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Thank You, Father for the gift of this day. 

Slow down mindfully no matter what the schedule holds.

Outside may be a fury of deadlines, errands, and appointments,

breaking up squabbles made by little hands and voices –

but inside knowing that life is short, not an emergency.

 The hurry up, keep up pace in our fast moving culture is not something our souls can or should keep in step with.

You, Lord, are to be celebrated in joy not just at Christmas or Easter but everyday.

Each day is a gift because You are the present.

All of the other small, but beautiful gifts coming from Your Hand are stocking stuffers.

You are the Best Gift under the tree, on the Tree. I will celebrate You on this ordinary Monday with the joy and wonder of Christmas Day.

vision of joy

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(Matthew 20:29-34)

The two blind men wanted their sight, Bartimaeus and an unnamed man. Don’t we all want to see? Need to? In blindness we run after gods made out of stone, not even thinking about the God Man who became flesh like us. Jesus restored their sight that day. He gave them the gift of human sight, but more importantly, faith sight. It isn’t until Jesus touches our eyes that we are healed too. Our soul eyes need to be opened before we realize the need for a Savior.

“I once was blind, but now I see” as the old hymn goes. Even with the gift of sight we sometimes decide to take off those glasses. Because at least for now while we reside on earth, our glasses serve as a spiritual tool for better vision. I think those should be included in the armor of God. We at times need to be reminded to keep them on so we don’t wander off blindly, hands outstretched, searching, grasping air. When we remember to put the glasses on and gaze into the Word of God, we see with intention. We go joy hunting through His Word, which gives us breath and life. We learn, over and over again to follow Him through the valleys and peaks of life.

We follow Jesus until our dying breath living out His will, in His strength. And after death we still live in His presence forever and ever- Joy made flesh and sight and solid. What a sweet healing for our eyes. What restoration! How vital to really, clearly see in 20/20 spiritual vision, crystal clear in heaven.

These two men knew the power of Christ. Not only that, they understood His divine identity before they could even see. God was working on their spiritual eyes before He healed the physical. Because eyes to see the mystery of Christ is more critical than the ability to see anything this world has to offer. They followed Him with joy after Jesus healed them because they knew. The blind men had faith in His uncontainable power, His compassion for those without sight to see Saving Grace.

To see God fully is what every Christian longs for. The Spirit acts as the eyes of our hearts. The Lord tears down the blindspots we put up and replaces it with grace to see in spiritual technicolor. This is the truest reality, the one in which you and I cannot yet vividly grasp. Our world now is smoke and mirrors, which will soon burn away and shrivel up. It isn’t really real. We can touch it, see, taste, hear, and smell these good gifts but something greater, more real than where we are now awaits.

Thank You El Roi for the glimpses of the far better and not yet. Thank You for loving us so fully and completely.

Thank You, Father that You are “the God who sees”. We desire to be seen, noticed, cared for, understood. You tell us to “cast all our cares on You” – help us to see as You see things, with holy eyes.

Let us learn to see the everyday graces, to trust You in everything. We just might find ourselves surprised by joy.

Grace upon grace,

April

Go Deeper:  Mark 10:46-52; Luke 18:35-43

The Overflow of Joy

/ RedeemedInGrace / 1 Comment

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What is the joy you long for? Do you recognize it when it’s staring you in the face? A recent sermon helped me to see that we all have our brokenness. That is really the only thing we have to offer God. He takes it, gently picking up the pieces cradling our very hearts close to His. Some of the pieces we smashed, other pieces were destroyed by another or many.

Have you ever noticed the verses in Scripture that condemn us in our deadness? It seems hopeless. Then the words come, like a rushing waterfall quenching our dry, parched souls – “BUT GOD”! It’s there in black and white, the turning point in the whole redemption Story. He has not left us to ourselves. The Lord really does save the day and ride in on a great white horse fighting for His Beloved, the Church, you. The words in Ephesians leap out, asking us to take notice of the treasure of joy right in front of our eyes.

“But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ – by grace you have been saved –“ (2:4-5 ESV)

The sermon I heard acknowledged that every person has hurts, struggles, or sicknesses to battle. Sometimes in the fog it is hard to see anything else especially in the thick of it. And then words of hope ring out: “But God…” The pastor who spoke that day told us of our need for Him. He presented Christ as desirable and lovely. He pulled back the curtain and helped me see King Jesus in all His Glory, Beauty, and Majesty.

You see, for the believer there is always hope no matter how dark the night of the soul gets. From our living hope springs an unexplainable joy – sometimes quiet you barely know its there. If you sit still long enough you’ll hear the whisper of Him who knit you together in your mother’s womb, “I love you. I have loved you with an everlasting love. You are my joy. Trust me and let Me be your Joy.” We quickly forget God’s love and faithfulness to us, which is why regular intake of the Bible is critical for our spiritual health. There are countless distractions and lies to draw us away from the truth everyday. Staying firmly planted in what God says leads to our joy.

This joy stems from believing when believing doesn’t make sense. Surrender. Wait. Rest. Joy is not in temporal circumstances but in keeping an eternal perspective. God wins. “The Sovereignty of God is the pillow on which we can lay our head”, as Charles Spurgeon so beautifully put it. Things of this importance take a lifetime to cultivate and recognize. We live each day with a grateful heart because God is in control and we are not. As we continue to seek Christ through daily trust and obedience our joy grows into an overflow.

Grace upon grace,

April

“You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence their is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”  -Psalm 16:11

 

 

The Joy Word

/ RedeemedInGrace / 2 Comments

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My son has a Veggie Tales book about having a thankful heart. It even has a song to go along with it (yes, a song). A few months ago all he wanted to do was press that song button on the book over and over and over. He would ask for the “happy” book, signing “happy” and point to the bookshelf. As much as I dislike the squeaky, cartoon voices in the song, I can’t help but pay close attention to the words: “Because a thankful heart is a happy heart. I’m glad for what I have that’s an easy way to start…”. The Lord knows I need this reminder just as much as my little guy, probably more. In fact I’m sure of it. It dawned on me after hearing the “happy” song for many, many nights in a row that this is where joy is born. Gratitude for our daily blessings creates a joyful space in our spirit. This joy expands the more we fix our eyes on His gifts to us.

Joy. It’s uncovered through the art of gratitude.

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God has prepared us for this. We were made for joy with Him forevermore. We can start practicing to live in joy today. Maybe it’s hard for you also. This is about finding joy in the ordinary, everyday mundane- recovering lost beauty and a worshipful heart.

Gifts that you wouldn’t necessarily think as gifts can be. For me, my son’s disabilities are a kind of gift. He still carries a sense of wonder over the ordinary, because his learning of the outside world is just now emerging. I get to see the world through him with fresh eyes. His infectious laughter gets me and my husband every time. We just look at each other and grin, thankful we get to be his parents. The obstacles of not yet having more children have also been a gift of leaning close to the Lord, trusting Him even when I don’t understand.

Our sense of beauty, innocence and joy was stolen in the Garden of Eden from the very first sin. We need to remember what it looks like and claim His goodness again. I don’t want to live the one life I have with cynicism and joylessness. That is a wasted life.

If “the joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10 NIV) then we need to know what that means. While you scour the food crusted pots at the sink, dig in the dirt planting the tulip bulb to blossom come spring, while you rock your little one to sleep quietly humming a lullaby- joy is there. It’s in the cracks of life, springing up from the ground. It is not a naïve “Pollyanna” attitude, although that term (and movie) does get a bad wrap. It’s a knowing. It is recognizing the source of Life, the Giver of the gifts. Understanding how much we are loved immeasurably through the Greatest Sacrifice in the history of mankind? Let your Joy start there.

Grace upon grace,

April

Prayer:

Thank You Lord, for our greatest joy, the gift of salvation bought with the sinless blood of Jesus Christ. Those you have called to Yourself are never more secure. You love your children with an everlasting love. Thank you Father, for our many blessings, the ones we can see and especially the blessings which we cannot. Let your children live in solemn, bold joy today. We pray Your kingdom come soon, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

Amen.

My Prayer for you

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When you realize that you can’t do it

on your own

and that maybe you aren’t enough.

Know that the God of Heaven is.

The Great I AM who is an All-Powerful

Consuming Fire

loves you like a protective mama bear

over her cubs.

I pray for you, the one who wonders

if they are noticed-

the one who feels inadequate

in his responsibilities

the one who struggles with a heavy addiction,

that dark stain which dishonors God.

May you go forth this week

washed in His Word,

dipped in the blood of the Lamb

so you come out

like fresh fallen snow

pure and clean.

You don’t have to be enough

because God is.

That is why Jesus came.

He lived to die so that you might really

start living forever

Redemption.

It’s weaved in and out of history

with a crimson cord of love

and He holds it out for you too.

Salvation is not just for those

who think they are good enough

or strong enough

because they aren’t,

we aren’t.

What we deserve and what we are offered

is the difference between life and death.

I pray you know Him.

I pray you see the Christ King

Who will one day make everything right.

He touches that heart

battered, bruised and betrayed

by the world,

opens it up and places Himself inside.

My prayer for you

is that you comprehend the deep well of love

lavished on your soul

by the sweetest name on earth: Jesus.

Look for His Handprint

today in everything

good and beautiful.

He points us to Himself that way

so that we can enjoy our Gracious God

and rejoice, again I say rejoice!

Re-Joy always.

Grace upon grace,

April

Knitting our hearts

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“My three children have given me many gifts, but perhaps the most surprising one is a renewed understanding of Christian hospitality. In Biblical times, hospitality often meant welcoming strangers in need of a meal or shelter. For Jesus, it meant including outsiders in meals and fellowship. For us, it can mean those things as well, but it can also mean welcoming not merely strangers and outsiders, but anyone whose messy, noisy, needy presence threatens the ordered, predictable, comfortable life we crave.” –Ellen Painter Dollar

           Thanksgiving at my grandparents’ house is something I looked forward to growing up. We enjoyed a feast that my grandma worked so hard to prepare. Afterward my cousins and I, along with a few of the adults would go on a walk around the neighborhood to work off the turkey. Usually the late afternoon was cool enough to linger on our stroll. In the empty streets the kids could have short foot races, walk backwards, twirl, or walk in groups of three, chatting and laughing. When we got back to the house most of us were ready for round 2. Dessert. I couldn’t wait for dessert. My grandma made peanut butter blossoms and pies. Oh the pies! Chocolate, pumpkin, pecan, and cherry are the ones that stick out in my mind. Even now, my grandma remembers that my favorite is cherry pie. She is a wonderful cook, baker, and hostess. This is where I first started learning about hospitality.

I have watched my grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, sister, in-laws, and sisters-in-law practice the art of hospitality. It doesn’t all look the same either, which is a relief. There is not a cookie-cutter standard in which I have to meet. Pinterest might say otherwise, but I am learning that hospitality simply means opening my home to others. It is inviting someone into my life, even for a few hours and allowing them to feel at home as well.

Over the last couple of years on Mother’s Day my dad has made a point to honor the women in my family in a very specific way. Since most of us would rather eat lunch at home on a day that is particularly busy for restaurants, my parents instead invite everyone to eat at their house. My dad vacuums and cleans so my mom does not have to. He plans the menu and executes. The food is either mostly catered or he grills out. The point is for moms to not have to cook that day. He blesses us through his gift of service and thoughtfulness.

My mother-in-law, Charolette, shows her love to others through cooking. Whenever she has company in her home, you can bet she has prepared something. When the whole family is together she cooks for all 21 of us. Charolette always says she’ll just make a few things, but 18 side dishes, 5 meats, and 14 desserts later we have a banquet spread. My father-in-law quietly serves by washing the dishes after everyone else has flopped on the couch from a food-induced coma. They both welcome others in their home, inviting you to make it yours for however long you stay.

We are not all made exactly the same, each possessing different gifts and abilities. Our schedules may vary as well, some more demanding than others. One person may have more time to devote to however simple or elaborate their hospitality gestures are. Yet the one constant in all of the people that inspire me is their heart to serve and bless others. It is beautiful to watch in motion. Love and generosity are acted out in the different homes I visit. Food is also a common denominator but it does not mean I have to be the next Rachael Ray or Paula Deen. I have been known to toss the pre-made break off cookie dough in the oven for my guests, nothing wrong with that. It can be as simple as grilled cheeses and chips. Food is just something that brings people together no matter how different they are. Everyone has to eat. Breaking bread together merely helps foster fellowship.

Hospitality is a lovely demonstration of service, acceptance, and friendship. For the believer, this is one way we act as the body of Christ, actively living out unity and community in the Church. We start to act like the family we are. Hospitality looks like enjoying one another’s company over freshly baked bread. It is pouring our hearts out over a cup of coffee. Hospitality means inviting someone into the ordinary but sacred moments with you, whether it is with one guest or 30. We laugh together, confide in, pray with one another, and encourage each other. God created us for relational living, so as we knit our hearts through spending time in each other’s homes, we may not only be a blessing to someone, but also find that we are blessed in the process.

Grace upon grace,

April